From inside the train from East Croydon to Central London - at dusk
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Hope...forgotten
You lose something
And you hope that you find it again someday.
Along the way, you learn to live without it.
Then, further along the way,
you realize that you never really needed that thing you lost.
When that glimmer of hope used to make you so nervous with anticipation,
remains just a glimmer of hope, flickering in the distance.
* Leaving London for home tomorrow night. And dreading it too. :-)
Will be posting pictures soon.
And you hope that you find it again someday.
Along the way, you learn to live without it.
Then, further along the way,
you realize that you never really needed that thing you lost.
When that glimmer of hope used to make you so nervous with anticipation,
remains just a glimmer of hope, flickering in the distance.
* Leaving London for home tomorrow night. And dreading it too. :-)
Will be posting pictures soon.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
London
After a 24 hour door-to-door journey, I am now comfortably sitting on a sofa in London.
My flight stopped in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Tashkent was the weirdest place. The transit area was like a big old house. It had the atmosphere of the Kota Bahru airport almost 15 years ago.
The situation at the London Airport was not bad at all (for me at least). Me and Lan managed to get out within about 40 minutes from the time we landed.
Ok lah, am going to try to sleep my jet lag off.
My flight stopped in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Tashkent was the weirdest place. The transit area was like a big old house. It had the atmosphere of the Kota Bahru airport almost 15 years ago.
The situation at the London Airport was not bad at all (for me at least). Me and Lan managed to get out within about 40 minutes from the time we landed.
Ok lah, am going to try to sleep my jet lag off.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Home!!
Finally back from Bangkok. Not that I hate that place, but it sucks to be alone in a strange land, especially for work. heheh.
I suspect Monday at work will be hell on earth. It's the one day I have to catch up before I fly off again.
Boo hoo.
I suspect Monday at work will be hell on earth. It's the one day I have to catch up before I fly off again.
Boo hoo.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
ITSM
I have been receiving emails from whatis.com since 1999 I think, and I have never received anything relevant. And look what came in the mail today. ITSM.
It's like they know.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
I'm a loser baby...
so why don't you kill me... - Beck
I got an award in class today for being "The only one that completed the homework on time."
hahaha...
note to all: I do have a life.
I got an award in class today for being "The only one that completed the homework on time."
hahaha...
note to all: I do have a life.
Financial Management
I was learning about charging yesterday, and we were talking about how charging for IT services can act as a demand management mechanism, which changes user behavior.
After incurring an enormous phone bill last month, I've decided to control that by purchasing a local prepaid number here. I thought, ok so now people can still call me and I won't have to pay that ridiculous amount. But since I've purchased the line, I have received zero calls, since people don't want to pay extra to call me international. I guess it's always expected for people to be more careful when it's their own money on the line instead of another person's. Behaviors change when money is involved, whether we like it or not. The sensitivity of that depends on how much money is involved, based on the different personalities we have in the world. Some people leave it until they foot a 600 dollar bill before they do anything, some are more prudent and take more preventive measures.
Let's calculate the total cost of me answering calls on roaming and on my local mobile:
Roaming
For me: RM 3.00/min (roaming charges)
For caller: RM 0.20/min (local rate)
Total: RM 3.20/min
Local
For me: Free
For caller: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min depending on what service is used
Total: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min
The cheaper option is obvious.
Apa aku membebel pagi2 ni. It's only 6.30 AM here...I'm up early because of the 1 hour difference.
Ok I better get ready to get to Dusit Thani.
La gorn kaa!
After incurring an enormous phone bill last month, I've decided to control that by purchasing a local prepaid number here. I thought, ok so now people can still call me and I won't have to pay that ridiculous amount. But since I've purchased the line, I have received zero calls, since people don't want to pay extra to call me international. I guess it's always expected for people to be more careful when it's their own money on the line instead of another person's. Behaviors change when money is involved, whether we like it or not. The sensitivity of that depends on how much money is involved, based on the different personalities we have in the world. Some people leave it until they foot a 600 dollar bill before they do anything, some are more prudent and take more preventive measures.
Let's calculate the total cost of me answering calls on roaming and on my local mobile:
Roaming
For me: RM 3.00/min (roaming charges)
For caller: RM 0.20/min (local rate)
Total: RM 3.20/min
Local
For me: Free
For caller: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min depending on what service is used
Total: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min
The cheaper option is obvious.
Apa aku membebel pagi2 ni. It's only 6.30 AM here...I'm up early because of the 1 hour difference.
Ok I better get ready to get to Dusit Thani.
La gorn kaa!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Bangkok Part Deux
Alone again in Bangkok. Checked into Centerpoint Saladaeng around 5.30pm. This room is much much better than Tower Inn last month. Even Internet is free, which is perfect for a geek like me. Went out for a bit to Silom Road to get my prepaid mobile topped up and some groceries.
I have a bad flu and cough. Probably from shaking too many hands last week. I think i'm going to take a nap now...though it's only 7.20PM here. Hopefully the flu goes by the time I wake up tomorrow.
This area is a bit dark to be roaming around alone at night, so I'll just stay in. I don't know what I'm going to do with two TVs in this apartment. heheh.
Get well soon, me!
La gorn kaa!
I have a bad flu and cough. Probably from shaking too many hands last week. I think i'm going to take a nap now...though it's only 7.20PM here. Hopefully the flu goes by the time I wake up tomorrow.
This area is a bit dark to be roaming around alone at night, so I'll just stay in. I don't know what I'm going to do with two TVs in this apartment. heheh.
Get well soon, me!
La gorn kaa!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
mon poisson est mort
oui.
it looked a bit smaller in the last few days. it wasn't swimming around happily as it usually does.
i came home today and it's lying at the bottom of the bowl.
poor fish.
it looked a bit smaller in the last few days. it wasn't swimming around happily as it usually does.
i came home today and it's lying at the bottom of the bowl.
poor fish.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Made in Thailand....
A night in Bangkok...from my last trip.
The First Wedding was a success, I think. It was a tad overbooked, but a success nevertheless.
Will be back in Bangkok on Sunday.
Friday, July 28, 2006
One Wedding and A Funeral
Two souls,
Shared a lifetime together.
Him bedridden for months,
and she spent her time caring for him.
Suddenly she went away,
leaving him sobbing on his bed.
Nothing we ever say will make it better for him.
We tell him to redha, but he just sobs even more.
All we can do is pray for him to be strong for his loss,
and remind him that it is all in God's fate that she had to go first.
The First Wedding will take place as scheduled,
a mother lost, a daughter gained.
And the world keeps spinning,
as we little beings struggle to deal with our emotions.
May Allah bless your soul, nenek.
Sabarlah atuk.
Al-fatihah.
Shared a lifetime together.
Him bedridden for months,
and she spent her time caring for him.
Suddenly she went away,
leaving him sobbing on his bed.
Nothing we ever say will make it better for him.
We tell him to redha, but he just sobs even more.
All we can do is pray for him to be strong for his loss,
and remind him that it is all in God's fate that she had to go first.
The First Wedding will take place as scheduled,
a mother lost, a daughter gained.
And the world keeps spinning,
as we little beings struggle to deal with our emotions.
May Allah bless your soul, nenek.
Sabarlah atuk.
Al-fatihah.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
home sweet home
arrived home on Saturday to a busy household buzzing with wedding activities. as soon as I stepped through the door, i felt like flying back to Bangkok so I could crawl under my blanket in my big, lonely hotel room. Am not a very big fan of Chaos.
anyway, 2 events down, 1 to go.
i still got a speech to write. dah start panic!
ta.
anyway, 2 events down, 1 to go.
i still got a speech to write. dah start panic!
ta.
Friday, July 21, 2006
finito...!
For now. Will be back here again in 2 weeks' time to do the other module.
Went straight to Devarana Spa after my class was dismissed. Absolutely fabuloso, though it was a bit too much indulgence on my part (especially the credit card). But hey, I have to look decent for the First Wedding...which happens to be on Sunday morning. Walking along the polluted streets in Bangkok certainly isn't helping my skin condition. :-)
Am chilling (by myself, boohoo) at the Suan-Lum night bazaar. Attempted to walk around the maze of stalls and gave up after about 15 minutes. My Thai counterparts here say that this market is more organized than Chatuchak. Yeugh, I won't even bother doing the touristy Chatuchak bit tomorrow. Sounds to cumbersome and sweaty...just not my cup of tea. Plus who needs to buy more than two handbags and trinkets at one go? Certainly not me.
So I'm now waiting for my grilled squid at a nearby joint similar to Hartamas Square, while sipping on Thai iced tea. I guess here they just call it Iced Tea, hehe...but it tastes so bloody good. Am going for a second glass later. There's an awful band performing on stage, not worth listening to, but at least it's giving me something to look at.
Can't wait to get back home. Where on earth is my food now! I'm starving!!
La gorn kaa!
Went straight to Devarana Spa after my class was dismissed. Absolutely fabuloso, though it was a bit too much indulgence on my part (especially the credit card). But hey, I have to look decent for the First Wedding...which happens to be on Sunday morning. Walking along the polluted streets in Bangkok certainly isn't helping my skin condition. :-)
Am chilling (by myself, boohoo) at the Suan-Lum night bazaar. Attempted to walk around the maze of stalls and gave up after about 15 minutes. My Thai counterparts here say that this market is more organized than Chatuchak. Yeugh, I won't even bother doing the touristy Chatuchak bit tomorrow. Sounds to cumbersome and sweaty...just not my cup of tea. Plus who needs to buy more than two handbags and trinkets at one go? Certainly not me.
So I'm now waiting for my grilled squid at a nearby joint similar to Hartamas Square, while sipping on Thai iced tea. I guess here they just call it Iced Tea, hehe...but it tastes so bloody good. Am going for a second glass later. There's an awful band performing on stage, not worth listening to, but at least it's giving me something to look at.
Can't wait to get back home. Where on earth is my food now! I'm starving!!
La gorn kaa!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Continuous Improvement...
...my ass. My big, big, fat ass.
Seems that my mock exam grades are getting lower by the day. Started with a decent 16/20, then 13/20 and today...10/20! Bugger...It's quite obvious that the weaker the processes are in my real working environment, the less i understand it, and the less points i get when answering a question. Although my average is right smack on the Distinction cut-off of 65%, i think i'm already bordering on dangerous grounds. Passing rate is 50%, but i'm just want to be a super-kiasu and aim high.
OK enough exam talk. I've been in Bangkok for 5 days, and only today I managed to taste of the Thai tomyam. Maybe i went to the wrong restaurant. Should have expected that the food isn't superb when i see westerners eating there. I prefer Viccuda anytime compared to the bland Tom Yam i had just now. Although the prawn fried with onions and garlic was pretty awesome. mm...
Ok enough dilly-dallying. No more walking about wasting time for me tonight. Got a 3-hour mock exam tomorrow, so I better put some work into it. Wish me luck.
La gorn kaa!
Seems that my mock exam grades are getting lower by the day. Started with a decent 16/20, then 13/20 and today...10/20! Bugger...It's quite obvious that the weaker the processes are in my real working environment, the less i understand it, and the less points i get when answering a question. Although my average is right smack on the Distinction cut-off of 65%, i think i'm already bordering on dangerous grounds. Passing rate is 50%, but i'm just want to be a super-kiasu and aim high.
OK enough exam talk. I've been in Bangkok for 5 days, and only today I managed to taste of the Thai tomyam. Maybe i went to the wrong restaurant. Should have expected that the food isn't superb when i see westerners eating there. I prefer Viccuda anytime compared to the bland Tom Yam i had just now. Although the prawn fried with onions and garlic was pretty awesome. mm...
Ok enough dilly-dallying. No more walking about wasting time for me tonight. Got a 3-hour mock exam tomorrow, so I better put some work into it. Wish me luck.
La gorn kaa!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
homesick...
counting my days to go home. 3 more days.
i'm a geek. i'm at a cyber cafe reading Configuration Management stuff.
ick.
i'm a geek. i'm at a cyber cafe reading Configuration Management stuff.
ick.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Made in Thailand
A picture I took while wandering around looking for dinner last night.
Class today was ok, i managed to do the mock questions pretty well. according to the instructor's grading level, with the score i got, i should be standing up there giving the training. Muhahahaha...cheeewah...eksyen gila!
Anyway, I was shopping around Patpong just now looking for those Thai pants (yang ikat2 belit2 tu), haggling with the vendor to sell them to me for BHT220 instead of BHT230. Then i realized i was haggling over RM1.00..shit. hahahha. Will not do that again tomorrow. But i think i'm done shopping here for the week.
Almost 10pm. need to get back, take a shower and scrub myself clean. Bangkok is one hell of a polluted city...yuck! I was at CentreWorld or something like that, and it was like a haze attack inside the building. I immediately ran for the Exit.
La gorn kaa!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Bangkok Day 1
Training ok. Nothing new other than formalizing what i've learned so far in real-life. Doing discussion work with a bunch of Thais are most frustrating. Yea...carry on...speak in your own language. Don't worry about me who can't understand a single word that's being said, except for Kap khun, sawatdee and chai, chai (yes). Ugh.
Bangkok is a total bore when you're on your own and when the training requires you to do reading and coursework at night.
When i get my masters certification...siap lah...Muahahhahaa....!
Tata..
Bangkok is a total bore when you're on your own and when the training requires you to do reading and coursework at night.
When i get my masters certification...siap lah...Muahahhahaa....!
Tata..
Sawatdee kaa...
At the point i'm writing this, i'm having my dinner at the hotel sky restaurant. The seabass i'm attempting to finish could easily feed a family of four back home. I'm stuffing myself with coriander like nobody's business. Yummy!
Arrived in Bangkok around 5.30pm today, the first of a series of trips i have to make here over the next 3 months. My hotel room is too big for one person. It's nice, but there's a dingy quality about it. Cigarette stench from poor ventilation, condom packs (unopened laa...) etc. Hehe.
I start my training tomorrow morning at Dusit Thani. A whole week of it, on my way to becoming the Jedi master of ITIL.
OK, i'm going to finish my seabass and go back to my room to study the Bangkok map. Boy, am i missing T a whole lot. But i'm here to pursue my dreams (as a process consultant? haha..) so i better put my mind to it.
Will post pictures when i get back. If i can find the time to take any, that is.
La gorn kaa..!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Day +365
I just realized that today is my one year anniversary post transplant. Alhamdulillah.
I want to celebrate, but I'm stuck at home with no car (rosak lagi), reading my ITIL book. So I ordered dinner from Room Service Delivery and ate on my own in my room. But that was before i realized it's Day +365, so I guess that doesn't count. Maybe I'll celebrate when I'm by myself in Bangkok next week. Heh.
Thank you mama, ayah, brothers, doctors, family and friends. Sometimes people (a.k.a. me) dwell in the things they have lost that they forget that there are things around them that keep them going.
Times flies, doesn't it? Everybody at home is now too busy preparing for the First Wedding. Here's to good health, and another 365 days..yay!
Cheers!
I want to celebrate, but I'm stuck at home with no car (rosak lagi), reading my ITIL book. So I ordered dinner from Room Service Delivery and ate on my own in my room. But that was before i realized it's Day +365, so I guess that doesn't count. Maybe I'll celebrate when I'm by myself in Bangkok next week. Heh.
Thank you mama, ayah, brothers, doctors, family and friends. Sometimes people (a.k.a. me) dwell in the things they have lost that they forget that there are things around them that keep them going.
Times flies, doesn't it? Everybody at home is now too busy preparing for the First Wedding. Here's to good health, and another 365 days..yay!
Cheers!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Italia
Italia has won the Germany 2006 World Cup. Between nodding off and waking up again, I missed Zidane's headbutt. I'm extremely happy that Italy won, but not too extreme-lah, because it's not like i played. So chill lah..hehe.
Yahoo! The World Cup is finally over, so I think tomorrow we can expect the Hot.fm DJs to stop naming themselves after soccer players. Which means I can go back to listening to their annoying banter in the mornings...(lagu dia sedap!)
Btw, Zidane's penalty was absolutely awesome! And Inzaghi still looks hot as ever. hehe.
Ok la..nak tido sat. Cau.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The First Wedding
We are ramping up the activities as the date closes in. Not that I get myself involved that much. It's the first wedding for my mum, and all i'm worried about is what i'm going to wear. Bwahaha!
My little contribution consist of preparing dad's speech and my own. I used to be good at writing emo speeches. I think i've lost my mojo. Need to interview the groom a.s.a.p.
Things are well, healthwise. I can't seem to stop munching on junk food these days. Gotta stay slim for The First Wedding. Measurements have been taken...can't afford to have fat bulging out of my baju during the function(s).
Why am I sounding like a shallow biarch?
Perhaps because I've been worrying all afternoon about how much I will get charged by my mechanic this time. I shouldn't have told the mechanic to "service the banana boat, and fix whatever that needs to be fixed." I hope he heard me adding at the end, "if anything gets too expensive call me first."
Or perhaps it's because I'm going through something so exciting right now but i can't really share, so I divert to silly wishy washy stories like the wedding and my car. Everything's fine, don't worry. :-) Life is fine, work is fine, health is fine.
Ciao. My ride home is here.
ps: can somebody call Fifa and ask whether they could have the ITA-GER game on Friday instead of Thursday? next day working day la...susah betul..heh.
My little contribution consist of preparing dad's speech and my own. I used to be good at writing emo speeches. I think i've lost my mojo. Need to interview the groom a.s.a.p.
Things are well, healthwise. I can't seem to stop munching on junk food these days. Gotta stay slim for The First Wedding. Measurements have been taken...can't afford to have fat bulging out of my baju during the function(s).
Why am I sounding like a shallow biarch?
Perhaps because I've been worrying all afternoon about how much I will get charged by my mechanic this time. I shouldn't have told the mechanic to "service the banana boat, and fix whatever that needs to be fixed." I hope he heard me adding at the end, "if anything gets too expensive call me first."
Or perhaps it's because I'm going through something so exciting right now but i can't really share, so I divert to silly wishy washy stories like the wedding and my car. Everything's fine, don't worry. :-) Life is fine, work is fine, health is fine.
Ciao. My ride home is here.
ps: can somebody call Fifa and ask whether they could have the ITA-GER game on Friday instead of Thursday? next day working day la...susah betul..heh.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Baju Kurung Blues
I'm finally ready to go, after scouring my mother's and my own wardrobe for a baju kurung to wear to my boarding school friend's wedding.
Those big shoulder pads didn't seem much of a problem when I had long hair...but now they all make me look like a rugby player with a small head.
After half an hour, my mother brought out a pair that was folded. I tried it on, and although still a bit big, it is the best among the other ones i tried.
Yes, I'm wearing my baju kurung prep. To a boarding school mate's wedding. Hope nobody notices.
ta!
Those big shoulder pads didn't seem much of a problem when I had long hair...but now they all make me look like a rugby player with a small head.
After half an hour, my mother brought out a pair that was folded. I tried it on, and although still a bit big, it is the best among the other ones i tried.
Yes, I'm wearing my baju kurung prep. To a boarding school mate's wedding. Hope nobody notices.
ta!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Craft Textile Exposition
I'm sitting in a ballroom in Shangri-La pretending to be interested in batik. I'd rather be at hartamas watching soccer.
I think this funny-smelling guy sitting next to me is Bernard Chandran with his wife.
ITA vs AUS
Gli Azzurri sono fortunati.
Felt a bit dorky before the game started, as T and me got out of our Italian ride in matching-matching Italia t-shirts. We looked positively poyo!! Before you start to gag, puke and bleed your brains out, the matching-matching bit was unplanned for, OK! I never...Hehe.
It was getting a bit too much for me as the Aussies continued attacking Italy throughout the game.
Anyway, went home during half-time and continued watching at home, half watching, half flipping through my book. Was just about to get something to drink in preparation for extra time when Grosso tripped and Italy won the penalty kick.
Ai finali quarti! Yayyy!
I can now sleep in peace. Buona notte.
Over and out.
Felt a bit dorky before the game started, as T and me got out of our Italian ride in matching-matching Italia t-shirts. We looked positively poyo!! Before you start to gag, puke and bleed your brains out, the matching-matching bit was unplanned for, OK! I never...Hehe.
It was getting a bit too much for me as the Aussies continued attacking Italy throughout the game.
Anyway, went home during half-time and continued watching at home, half watching, half flipping through my book. Was just about to get something to drink in preparation for extra time when Grosso tripped and Italy won the penalty kick.
Ai finali quarti! Yayyy!
I can now sleep in peace. Buona notte.
Over and out.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Checkup Update
Everything's going pretty well, Alhamdulillah.
Blood counts normal. I have some skin dryness, and my liver enzymes shot up a bit. But my billirubin counts are normal, so the docs suspected that I just have a mild case of GVHD from the leukocyte infusion about a month ago. I have still one bag of donor leukocyte left at the blood bank, so they'll decide whether to infuse me around next month.
I'm 17 days away from being 1 year post transplant.
Should i have a party? hihi.
Blood counts normal. I have some skin dryness, and my liver enzymes shot up a bit. But my billirubin counts are normal, so the docs suspected that I just have a mild case of GVHD from the leukocyte infusion about a month ago. I have still one bag of donor leukocyte left at the blood bank, so they'll decide whether to infuse me around next month.
I'm 17 days away from being 1 year post transplant.
Should i have a party? hihi.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Wise words from M
There was a conversation I once had with M. She told me,
"Hate is not what you should be aiming for. You should aim for not caring. That should be your ultimate goal, because hate is never going to make you feel any good." (I rephrased to make it sound better. hehe)
I agreed, just because I'm not really a person who argues, but deep down I didn't believe her.
Until lately.
It's like you wake up one morning (or afternoon, in my case..hehe), and you realized you've shifted to another life. You have the same people in your little world, but now everybody affects you differently. The change scares you initially, but you move your step forward anyway, because it's the only way to go. Am i sounding like that book "Who Moved My Cheese" now?
And this change, in T's favourite words, "I like."
Doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hope everything will be fine.
Ciao.
"Hate is not what you should be aiming for. You should aim for not caring. That should be your ultimate goal, because hate is never going to make you feel any good." (I rephrased to make it sound better. hehe)
I agreed, just because I'm not really a person who argues, but deep down I didn't believe her.
Until lately.
It's like you wake up one morning (or afternoon, in my case..hehe), and you realized you've shifted to another life. You have the same people in your little world, but now everybody affects you differently. The change scares you initially, but you move your step forward anyway, because it's the only way to go. Am i sounding like that book "Who Moved My Cheese" now?
And this change, in T's favourite words, "I like."
Doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hope everything will be fine.
Ciao.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
gasless in KJ
Just finished going through a one hour hoo-ha with my banana boat. It couldn't start mid-way and it's all because i was too lazy. Heheh.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
dear hot.fm
I'm driving home, listening to the DJ chatting on Hot.fm. Farah Ronaldo? Faizal Ballack? Tini Totti? AJ Schevchenko? Leya Ronaldinho??????
Yeurgh. Wassup with that? Get a life! Or am i the only one who is finding this totally lame?
Your loyal listener,
nadio inzaghi.
Monday, June 12, 2006
World Cup
Being a supporter of Italy since 1996 for all the wrong reasons, I've got my new Italian t-shirt on for the game tonight. As if it would make a difference. hehehee! I don't think i'll be up that late to watch the game anyway. I'll just find out who won tomorrow from the volunteer commentators in the workplace.
Go Azzurri!
Buona Notte mi amici.
Go Azzurri!
Buona Notte mi amici.
Key Issues
My banana boat fell ill again. This time the key wouldn't do a full turn to start the car. It gets stuck halfway. There's a locksmith trying to assist me now, hopefully he'll be able to start the car so i can drive it out of this sauna-ish shopping mall basement. Argh!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
dream a little dream
it was like a week long dream.
a good one, I'd say.
a bit of variety in life,
a bit of laughter, a bit of happiness,
a dash of awkwardness here and there.
in the company of people who keep you smiling.
and bam! it ends.
it's like you woke up and realized
that none of them were real,
and you carry on with your monotonous life.
i'm rambling. not much of a poet.
ta.
a good one, I'd say.
a bit of variety in life,
a bit of laughter, a bit of happiness,
a dash of awkwardness here and there.
in the company of people who keep you smiling.
and bam! it ends.
it's like you woke up and realized
that none of them were real,
and you carry on with your monotonous life.
i'm rambling. not much of a poet.
ta.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Saturday, June 03, 2006
random photos from the phone
it was one of those laid back weeks....watch out for Core Resources the band! hahaha
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
three parts of golf
i think i had excellent tutoring at the driving range yesterday, and i thought i should jot it down so i don't forget. heh.
course: tee box, fairway, green
modes: tee-off mode, approach mode, putting
club: club head, shaft, grip
swing: quarter swing, half swing, full swing
hitting the ball: hinge, lift, finish
posture: goalie ready position, defending a penalty, sit on your spine!
two practice swings, then hit the ball!
heh heh. i realized i was doing it all wrong before this.
i'm hooked. again.
course: tee box, fairway, green
modes: tee-off mode, approach mode, putting
club: club head, shaft, grip
swing: quarter swing, half swing, full swing
hitting the ball: hinge, lift, finish
posture: goalie ready position, defending a penalty, sit on your spine!
two practice swings, then hit the ball!
heh heh. i realized i was doing it all wrong before this.
i'm hooked. again.
Monday, May 29, 2006
animal safari
skipped the opportunity to golf with a pro this morning and decided to go to animal safari at the A Famosa Resort. Plan for Animal Safari did not work out since i overslept, so this was the closet I got to animals...a herd of cows crossing the road near Pekan Tampin. Boleh laaaah..
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Pain and Pangya
about 6 years ago, i remember getting a phone call at work from an old friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend. apparently he found out the girl was cheating on him. or so I understood. the details are kind of fuzzy now. anyway, I remember him asking me, "do you know how it feels to wake up in the mornings and feel that pain in your chest? do you?" I told him I didn't, and tried my best to console him.
6 years have passed, and if he asked me that again now, I would be able to say to him, "Yes, I know how it feels."
But I would also be able to ask him, "And do you know how it feels to wake up one morning and realize that the pain is gone?" We'd both be able to agree with each other and say, "Yes, and it feels friggin' great."
On a totally separate note, damn Nuke for introducing me to Pangya Online Golf. I am totally addicted to it now..Argh!
6 years have passed, and if he asked me that again now, I would be able to say to him, "Yes, I know how it feels."
But I would also be able to ask him, "And do you know how it feels to wake up one morning and realize that the pain is gone?" We'd both be able to agree with each other and say, "Yes, and it feels friggin' great."
On a totally separate note, damn Nuke for introducing me to Pangya Online Golf. I am totally addicted to it now..Argh!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
DLI day
Woke up with a sore throat and slightly runny nose. Waiting to see the doc, but the DLI's been postponed to next week. Going back to work then.
...............
It's now 7.30 PM. It turns out the they've already taken out the lymphocytes, so the doctor decided to infuse the cells anyway. There were two bags for today. Just two small bags, if i'm not mistaken, 2.5 x 107 cells in total. The infusion was painful! The doctor already told me to expect that since my veins are sensitive and the preservative solution for the cells can irritate the veins, making it painful. It still hurts now, along the vein line.
Was talking to the doctor about the bone marrow biopsy results, and he said he saw 1-2% blast cells in the marrow, but since it's 5%, i'm still considered in remission, Alhamdulillah. I'm a bit worried though, because in the previous bone marrow tests, no blast cells were present. Anyway the doctor concluded that it is just about the right time to infuse the white cells.
They injected phenagon first, it was supposed to make me drowsy i think. But i was awake the whole time they infused the cells, and fell asleep soon after they finished. Other than the pain, there were no complications and nothing special happened. (What did I expect, fireworks??? haha) So I went home around 2pm, slept some more, and woke up just recently. The doctor said, in about two weeks time I will perhaps get some GVHD, e.g. skin rashes, fever, diarrhea, etc.
So, that's the story! The cells are now inside, and there is no controlling what it will do to the body. Hope everything goes well in there!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Buy Buy Buy, and Never Read!
So, I'm going on a 1-book-a-week drive. It turns out that I was constantly buying books and borrowing from people, and most of the books sit on the shelf, some still in their plastic wrappers. Decided to take some action against myself when I found a Borders bag loaded with books I purchased many months ago, which I never got around to unpacking. I suppose it was part of the Kit for the BH regime I was following back then. Hahahaha.
Finished "Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern" which was excellent. Well, if you like the two-best-friends-falling-in-love kind of storyline. Only this time it took them about 45 years to finally get together. My rating - 4/5.
Moving on to a more serious book, The Bookseller of Kabul, recommended by Mar. I suppose I could do book reviews from time to time. But we'll see how it goes...i'm more of a going-with-the-flow kind of person (in other words "hangat2 tahi ayam").
heh.
Finished "Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern" which was excellent. Well, if you like the two-best-friends-falling-in-love kind of storyline. Only this time it took them about 45 years to finally get together. My rating - 4/5.
Moving on to a more serious book, The Bookseller of Kabul, recommended by Mar. I suppose I could do book reviews from time to time. But we'll see how it goes...i'm more of a going-with-the-flow kind of person (in other words "hangat2 tahi ayam").
heh.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Morphine
Morphine makes you do strange things.
I was on hourly morphine injections last year, and I created a blog. About the travels of a 50 Sen coin. I managed to write only two entries, and the ideas stopped coming as soon as the morphine stopped.
My attempt to continue the story today failed miserably, I think. Ha ha ha.
Btw (this has got nothing to do with drugs of any kind), I was at No Black Tie to see Shanon Shah last night. Shanon was brilliant, as usual. But there was this other dude called Reza Salleh. That was the first time I've heard of him and his music. He's superb!
I was on hourly morphine injections last year, and I created a blog. About the travels of a 50 Sen coin. I managed to write only two entries, and the ideas stopped coming as soon as the morphine stopped.
My attempt to continue the story today failed miserably, I think. Ha ha ha.
Btw (this has got nothing to do with drugs of any kind), I was at No Black Tie to see Shanon Shah last night. Shanon was brilliant, as usual. But there was this other dude called Reza Salleh. That was the first time I've heard of him and his music. He's superb!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
previously on Am Scared...
..read yourself lah. ingat ni Desperate Housewives ke. hehehe.
Before everybody else start to worry, i just want to make a note that everything is fine.
I pray that the DLI will go fine too.
Before everybody else start to worry, i just want to make a note that everything is fine.
I pray that the DLI will go fine too.
Am Scared
Got a call from the clinic today, for a DLI next week. DLI = Donor Leukocyte Infusion, where they inject my donor's white cells for relapse prevention. It's been planned since a couple of month ago.
Due to the fact that I received the call two days after my biopsy, i'm suddenly clouded with worry. It's a stern reminder that the game might not be over yet, and me living as if I am already a winner is certainly not helping.
No details yet. Will update.
Due to the fact that I received the call two days after my biopsy, i'm suddenly clouded with worry. It's a stern reminder that the game might not be over yet, and me living as if I am already a winner is certainly not helping.
No details yet. Will update.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Kit for the Broken-Hearted
I was talking to someone today about broken hearts, and I realized that the Broken-Hearted (BH) partake in some common activities. So, if we were to create a Kit for the Broken Hearted, I would put these 10 things in:
a) Membership for Kickboxing lessons
To release the pent up rage and anger. Who knows, the BH might even get a chance to accidentally kick a real person and pretend that the ex is getting whoop-assed.
b) A golf club
Also for anger therapy.
c) A digital camera
Preferably a digital SLR, because it does a better job at capturing moods. But a simple point-and-shoot would do too. This is for the BH to wander around aimlessly while not appearing too aimless. It also helps to take the mind off the ex in small pockets of time when the BH makes stops to compose shots.
d) A blog account
To vent, whine, bitch and what-not. Oh, and also to post photos taken with the digital camera above.
e) At least 1 pair of married friends
Preferably with a kid or two. This is somewhat a symbiotic relationship. It allows the parents to for once have an adult conversation with each other, while the BH, who probably can’t focus on serious conversations anyway, can entertain the child by playing video games, asking stupid childish questions and watching cartoons like Chicken Little, Spongebob, Shrek, etc.
f) At least 2 single friends
Whom the BH can call to hangout with without much notice. Preferably one hot dude, and one hot girl to increase the level of happening-ness when people see the three of you out together.
g) At least 1 online friend
Preferably someone that the BH doesn’t really know or meet often, for non-judgmental bitching sessions until the wee hours. Conversations usually go like this (assuming BH is a girl):
BH: Buzz!! Can't sleep...
OF: Hey! How are you feeling now?
BH: Angry. (or whatever BH feels at the moment, it may vary from hour to hour) btw, are you listening to HITZ.fm? "Cry me a river" is on. That is sooo totally my song. I've got the mp3, I'll transfer it over to you.
OF: You’ll get over this at some point you know. I’ve been through it before. Believe me.
BH: I know. But right now it just feels like i can't go on. Oh, "One Last Cry" is on air now. Man, Brian McKnight really speaks to me.
OF: You'll find someone who'll make you happy. You'll see. Btw, Negaraku is on air in RTM, is that your song too? <-- OF getting sarcastic after BH claims about 200 songs in a row as her song.
Bla bla bla on and on until one decides to go to bed.
h) Workload the size of Mount Everest with an almost impossible deadline
Definitely works in shifting the focus and energy. Don't be ashamed to go to your boss and ask for a shitload of work.
i) A Valid International Passport
To take unplanned holidays abroad to “run away from all this,” to "mend the heart," to “clear the mind,” and so on.
j) A relatively bottomless bank account
To fill the void by purchasing totally unnecessary items without having to worry about bursting the credit limit. Oh, and of course, to pay for the said unplanned holidays. Unless you break up just before the MATA Fair, in which case you should consider yourself luckier than the other BHs. Heh.
That’s about all I could think of. Did I leave anything else? OK, well, maybe just a teaspoonful of self-pity and a bucket of willpower to move on. But let's not get philosophical. Chewaah...hahaha.
a) Membership for Kickboxing lessons
To release the pent up rage and anger. Who knows, the BH might even get a chance to accidentally kick a real person and pretend that the ex is getting whoop-assed.
b) A golf club
Also for anger therapy.
c) A digital camera
Preferably a digital SLR, because it does a better job at capturing moods. But a simple point-and-shoot would do too. This is for the BH to wander around aimlessly while not appearing too aimless. It also helps to take the mind off the ex in small pockets of time when the BH makes stops to compose shots.
d) A blog account
To vent, whine, bitch and what-not. Oh, and also to post photos taken with the digital camera above.
e) At least 1 pair of married friends
Preferably with a kid or two. This is somewhat a symbiotic relationship. It allows the parents to for once have an adult conversation with each other, while the BH, who probably can’t focus on serious conversations anyway, can entertain the child by playing video games, asking stupid childish questions and watching cartoons like Chicken Little, Spongebob, Shrek, etc.
f) At least 2 single friends
Whom the BH can call to hangout with without much notice. Preferably one hot dude, and one hot girl to increase the level of happening-ness when people see the three of you out together.
g) At least 1 online friend
Preferably someone that the BH doesn’t really know or meet often, for non-judgmental bitching sessions until the wee hours. Conversations usually go like this (assuming BH is a girl):
BH: Buzz!! Can't sleep...
OF: Hey! How are you feeling now?
BH: Angry. (or whatever BH feels at the moment, it may vary from hour to hour) btw, are you listening to HITZ.fm? "Cry me a river" is on. That is sooo totally my song. I've got the mp3, I'll transfer it over to you.
OF: You’ll get over this at some point you know. I’ve been through it before. Believe me.
BH: I know. But right now it just feels like i can't go on. Oh, "One Last Cry" is on air now. Man, Brian McKnight really speaks to me.
OF: You'll find someone who'll make you happy. You'll see. Btw, Negaraku is on air in RTM, is that your song too? <-- OF getting sarcastic after BH claims about 200 songs in a row as her song.
Bla bla bla on and on until one decides to go to bed.
h) Workload the size of Mount Everest with an almost impossible deadline
Definitely works in shifting the focus and energy. Don't be ashamed to go to your boss and ask for a shitload of work.
i) A Valid International Passport
To take unplanned holidays abroad to “run away from all this,” to "mend the heart," to “clear the mind,” and so on.
j) A relatively bottomless bank account
To fill the void by purchasing totally unnecessary items without having to worry about bursting the credit limit. Oh, and of course, to pay for the said unplanned holidays. Unless you break up just before the MATA Fair, in which case you should consider yourself luckier than the other BHs. Heh.
That’s about all I could think of. Did I leave anything else? OK, well, maybe just a teaspoonful of self-pity and a bucket of willpower to move on. But let's not get philosophical. Chewaah...hahaha.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
post biopsy
gained consciousness around 3.30pm and realized i was sobbing. i had tears running from my eyes. did i cry during the biopsy? the last thing i remember was the doctor saying to me, "ok, now you sleep yea.." did i get nervous because it was the MO who did the procedure instead of the consultant? did it hurt? I can't remember a damn thing.
it doesn't hurt now. I'm still a bit woozy from the dormicum and pethadine, and I have a huge band-aid on my back.
dormicum is awesome. now, if only i could get my hands on a bagful of those during my difficult months late last year...it would be just purrfect (i believe this is the way hot girls spell perfect these days, no?).
miao.
it doesn't hurt now. I'm still a bit woozy from the dormicum and pethadine, and I have a huge band-aid on my back.
dormicum is awesome. now, if only i could get my hands on a bagful of those during my difficult months late last year...it would be just purrfect (i believe this is the way hot girls spell perfect these days, no?).
miao.
part 3
Ok..The technician said he would come in a half hour, although, he said, they don't usually do biopsies after lunch. Right, so i have to be aware that HE's doing me a favour. I don't care who's fault it is anymore, as long as i get to get this done today.
Wish me luck and good results.
This is the end of my complain letter. Ciao.
previously on At the hospital...
...I was waiting for the technician.
It's 1.15pm and the technician is already out to lunch. So apparently i came to the wrong ward, and nobody here bothered to check. Everybody just sort of waited for the technician's arrival until my face started getting contorted from the anger.
We'll see what happens. I know some of my doctors read this, and i feel really sorry that this is the system you have to work with.
To be continued...
at the hospital
It's already 12.40pm. Still waiting for my bone marrow test since 9.30am. I'm getting angry at their disrespect of my time. I can understand waiting 1.5 hours, but 3? They've got to be effing kidding me. Times like these, i wish i had sought treatment elsewhere. The clinic nurse said "you must come as soon as u can because the technician usually arrives around 9am." well, it's 12.45pm, and where the frakk is the technician now?!
This is how i get from smiling me to sour me within the span of the morning. Simply show me that my time is being wasted.
It's 5 mins to lunchtime. Will the technician arrive? The saga continues...
Bone Marrow Test
Called the clinic around 4.30 today to check if the test is confirmed tomorrow. Was told that my name wasn't in the appointment book and could i please call back a bit later so they can check first. I got a bit busy on the phone and only realized that I forgot to call them back around 5.02PM. Unfortunately the operator said the connection didn't go through because the clinic was already closed. AAAArrghhhh!! I was kind of looking forward to the test tomorrow so I can take the rest of the day off later and just bum around the house while nursing my sore back from after the biopsy. Now I'll have to go to work while i wait to see if the test is on or not. bargh!
Given that this is not the first time this happened to me, I have no one else to blame but myself. Should have called much earlier to check so they can arrange for something when they realize that my name isn't in the book. I think they called me twice before to tell me that I have a 16th May bone marrow appointment, somehow my name never got into their order book or whatever they call it.....hmmm...want to get angry oso no point.
We'll see what happens in the morning. If it happens, well, again, wish me all the best.
Am reading Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern now. Quite a page-turner, if you're into chick lits. I'm looking for a mystery novel to read. Any recommendations? Those Dan Brown types la...history + mystery/thriller sort. Please don't tell me to read The Rule of Four. I mis-judged the book by its cover, and the book SUCKS!
Ciao tutti.
Given that this is not the first time this happened to me, I have no one else to blame but myself. Should have called much earlier to check so they can arrange for something when they realize that my name isn't in the book. I think they called me twice before to tell me that I have a 16th May bone marrow appointment, somehow my name never got into their order book or whatever they call it.....hmmm...want to get angry oso no point.
We'll see what happens in the morning. If it happens, well, again, wish me all the best.
Am reading Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern now. Quite a page-turner, if you're into chick lits. I'm looking for a mystery novel to read. Any recommendations? Those Dan Brown types la...history + mystery/thriller sort. Please don't tell me to read The Rule of Four. I mis-judged the book by its cover, and the book SUCKS!
Ciao tutti.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Lagi lagi cerita kerja
After almost two and a half months of mainly working and not much else, my project is finally over (for now), and I can stop worrying about it...other than the three things i have yet to finish by Monday. hehe.
Post-job review: I'm not made to chase people because I'd rather just get it done myself. Must find a better way to do people-chasing next time.
Have a good weekend! I'm certainly going to have a good one!
Ta.
Post-job review: I'm not made to chase people because I'd rather just get it done myself. Must find a better way to do people-chasing next time.
Have a good weekend! I'm certainly going to have a good one!
Ta.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Why do some girls wear such thick makeup?
I don't know. You tell me. Is the Russian Doll look the in thing right now? Foundation 10 shades lighter than the skin plus two round shades of Vermillion on the cheeks. Is that in?
What I don't understand is, in pictures, how can some claim themselves as "hot", "pretty", "sizzling", "babeZ" when they're so obviously not? Hello! Like, have you heard of a mirror?
Why am i ranting about this? Dunno? Err, should i go back to ranting about work?
What I don't understand is, in pictures, how can some claim themselves as "hot", "pretty", "sizzling", "babeZ" when they're so obviously not? Hello! Like, have you heard of a mirror?
Why am i ranting about this? Dunno? Err, should i go back to ranting about work?
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Screaaaaaaammmm!!!
Needed a change of air and decided to go sebok2 at a gig at Hartamas last night. Not that many people, but the noise coming from the bands....goodness! Above is a picture of a band that basically screamed all the way and I had no idea what they were singing. The only sentence i got from the singer was, "our next song will be a cover from Iron Mydin". Rock kapak braderrr!!!!
Felt a bit old as me and Lan were talking to this kid, and suddenly the song "Come out and play" by Offspring came out. The kid said, "when i was in kindergarten, i heard this song and thought it was quite good." Jeez!
I think i'll go check out Rock Chic night next week. Bands with girl singers playing. If they start screaming, i'll leave. hehe.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Need blood? Sign here.
(note to adrie: it's not about work this time)
I'm too lazy to put a link because NST will archive it after some time. So go to NST and search for "blood transfusion consent" and you'll be able to open it if it's still there.
Anyway, so it looks like the government is now introducing a consent form for patients receiving blood. Before I actually read the article, I thought, what a bloody ridiculous thing to do! So you have a close to fainting patient with a 3.6 Hb count, needing four pints of blood, and you go, "by the way, we need you to sign this consent form because we will not be responsible if you contract AIDS or Hepatitis or any diseases from the blood you will be receiving." Now i'm scared, because i think i have received more than 25 pints of blood and god knows how many bags of platelets while i was under treatment. Erk!
Being a patient who was treated using the government's medical facilities, i think to get patients to sign such forms may just spoil its image (the government's image lah...not the patients'!). I have received excellent care from the doctors, who try to do their best despite the not so state-of-the-art facilities. My perceived lack of confidence for the government medical care significantly shifted while I was being treated. Some people asked me, "eh..why didn't you get your treatment done at so-and-so private hospital ah?" I answered, "why? the only difference is that there is no Astro and that the test results come back slightly late if it's not an emergency. otherwise the doctors are just as good." And I'm sure a lot of other people who've experienced the government's medical services will agree with me.
So, I think it's a waste of efforts when the nation is feeling quite good about the medical services, and they suddenly come up with a consent form that looks like they're trying to deny any responsibility for blood transfusion related diseases. You know why? Because people will think, "ahh it must be because of that lady who died because she got AIDS from her blood transfusion and they don't want to be responsible for occurences like that anymore."
However, after reading the article, I understand that the consent is just like the consent i had to sign prior to having my radiotherapy, where they explained to me the side effects of radiation. The form said that the risks have been explained to me, and that I understand them, and will not sue the government if anything happens to me. At which point I asked, "well, do i have a choice?" and the lady smiled to me, and i gave in and signed the document.
I guess the blood transfusion thing will be just like that. I still think that the government should at least take full responsibility for all diseases that are known at the time of the blood transfusion. I'll sign that. And rather than getting people worried about the risks, why not invest in better testing equipment and better education for the lab technicians? And if they still end up with one patient contracting a disease, settle. It's a small price to pay for the nation's confidence.
Ok la. membebel and starting to Talk Like Power, so i better stop. My final question is, if i'm in a situation where I require 4 pints of blood transfused, do i sign just one form, or 4 forms? Coz penat la weh nak kena sign 4 forms...dah la tengah tak cukup oxygen from low blood count. Then they'll need to have another consent form to say that the government is not liable for deaths occuring from signing blood transfusion consents. heh.
Ciao!
I'm too lazy to put a link because NST will archive it after some time. So go to NST and search for "blood transfusion consent" and you'll be able to open it if it's still there.
Anyway, so it looks like the government is now introducing a consent form for patients receiving blood. Before I actually read the article, I thought, what a bloody ridiculous thing to do! So you have a close to fainting patient with a 3.6 Hb count, needing four pints of blood, and you go, "by the way, we need you to sign this consent form because we will not be responsible if you contract AIDS or Hepatitis or any diseases from the blood you will be receiving." Now i'm scared, because i think i have received more than 25 pints of blood and god knows how many bags of platelets while i was under treatment. Erk!
Being a patient who was treated using the government's medical facilities, i think to get patients to sign such forms may just spoil its image (the government's image lah...not the patients'!). I have received excellent care from the doctors, who try to do their best despite the not so state-of-the-art facilities. My perceived lack of confidence for the government medical care significantly shifted while I was being treated. Some people asked me, "eh..why didn't you get your treatment done at so-and-so private hospital ah?" I answered, "why? the only difference is that there is no Astro and that the test results come back slightly late if it's not an emergency. otherwise the doctors are just as good." And I'm sure a lot of other people who've experienced the government's medical services will agree with me.
So, I think it's a waste of efforts when the nation is feeling quite good about the medical services, and they suddenly come up with a consent form that looks like they're trying to deny any responsibility for blood transfusion related diseases. You know why? Because people will think, "ahh it must be because of that lady who died because she got AIDS from her blood transfusion and they don't want to be responsible for occurences like that anymore."
However, after reading the article, I understand that the consent is just like the consent i had to sign prior to having my radiotherapy, where they explained to me the side effects of radiation. The form said that the risks have been explained to me, and that I understand them, and will not sue the government if anything happens to me. At which point I asked, "well, do i have a choice?" and the lady smiled to me, and i gave in and signed the document.
I guess the blood transfusion thing will be just like that. I still think that the government should at least take full responsibility for all diseases that are known at the time of the blood transfusion. I'll sign that. And rather than getting people worried about the risks, why not invest in better testing equipment and better education for the lab technicians? And if they still end up with one patient contracting a disease, settle. It's a small price to pay for the nation's confidence.
Ok la. membebel and starting to Talk Like Power, so i better stop. My final question is, if i'm in a situation where I require 4 pints of blood transfused, do i sign just one form, or 4 forms? Coz penat la weh nak kena sign 4 forms...dah la tengah tak cukup oxygen from low blood count. Then they'll need to have another consent form to say that the government is not liable for deaths occuring from signing blood transfusion consents. heh.
Ciao!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Ruffedge - Lemas
due to a serious lack of anything to write, i'm gonna do the cheapo and paste lyrics from Ruffedge's latest tracks, "Lemas". My initial reaction to the song was "ugh!" but after a few rounds the tune kind of got to me. Sedap sungguh lagu ini. heh.
lemas ku dalam dakapanmu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukanmu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa
memang dia orangnya
mulanya memang sempurna
tiada yang buruk darinya
bahagia sentiasa dirasa ohh..
tapi kini dah berubah
yang indah jadi derita
aku resah gelisah
yang tinggal hanyalah sakit dan peritnya
kini aku mula sedari
apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayanganmu
tapi itu semua dulu
memang ku tidak mahu teruskan
percintaan ini bersamamu...
lemas ku dalam dakapanmu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya
lemas ku dalam pelukanmu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa
memang dia orangnya
mulanya memang sempurna
tiada yang buruk darinya
bahagia sentiasa dirasa ohh..
tapi kini dah berubah
yang indah jadi derita
aku resah gelisah
yang tinggal hanyalah sakit dan peritnya
kini aku mula sedari
apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayanganmu
tapi itu semua dulu
memang ku tidak mahu teruskan
percintaan ini bersamamu...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Karma - Alicia Keyes
"...what goes around, comes around,
what goes up, must come down..."
(me moving to the beat..enjoying myself while relating to a not-so-recent experience)
what goes up, must come down..."
(me moving to the beat..enjoying myself while relating to a not-so-recent experience)
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
krujaan
Man, as i was busy entertaining training requests, there comes the Empayar Krujaan Weekly Bulletin. eww! (Then again, i must've signed myself up at some point...hehe)
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Addendum
I was such a (#3) today. <-- See post below.
11) OCDs
Obsessive Compulsive people who take a long time to finish a job. That's me today. The moment I created that Access DB, I knew i would miss breakfast, lunch, gossip breaks because I would pour all my energy into making that one bloody report look perfect. Get a life, me!
12) Mellons
Sometimes when you hire people into your company, you get Lemons, who look perfect on paper, but not worth a single dollar you're paying them. Well at my place, you get Mellons. A bunch of proud, smart-ass graduates from a certain university on the east coast of USA. And I'm one of 'em. Bwahaha!
Dah la tu. PS2 Golf jap. Boringnye, looks like my recent postings have been all about work. (Yea...I'm really into it now. Can't you tell? ha ha ha).
11) OCDs
Obsessive Compulsive people who take a long time to finish a job. That's me today. The moment I created that Access DB, I knew i would miss breakfast, lunch, gossip breaks because I would pour all my energy into making that one bloody report look perfect. Get a life, me!
12) Mellons
Sometimes when you hire people into your company, you get Lemons, who look perfect on paper, but not worth a single dollar you're paying them. Well at my place, you get Mellons. A bunch of proud, smart-ass graduates from a certain university on the east coast of USA. And I'm one of 'em. Bwahaha!
Dah la tu. PS2 Golf jap. Boringnye, looks like my recent postings have been all about work. (Yea...I'm really into it now. Can't you tell? ha ha ha).
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Annoyances from many, many floors above Ground
I was reading "Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit?" and got inspired. None in this list is intended to offend anyone. Well, ok, except for #1. muehehe.
1) Hummers
People who humtunes in the office. Shut up already. I can't even make out what you're trying to sing. If i really wanted to hear music, I would've turned on my headphones. Your humming on top of my notebook fan roaring just don't jive.
2) Stressaholics
People who walk around looking as if the world is going to collapse around them. Right-o. Your job is so difficult and everyone is ganging up against you. Are you satisfied now?
3) Mis-emailers
People who send 1 thousand emails a day. Sometimes they send an email again and again because they a) forgot to attach the file, b) put the wrong meeting dates and venues, etc.
4) TLPs
Talk like power. Act like power. Joke like power. Congratulations - but we've heard enough already about how chummy you are with the boss. And yes, you also told us many times that you have too many projects to handle. Of course la, you kan are one of the few that the boss can trust. Awesome. You da' star, you the most terrer.
5) LLBs
Look like busy. Hmm actually they don't bother me. Unless they are LLBs who are also TLPs. Which is worse than just being a TLP. hehe.
6) Watersplashers
People who splash water in the restroom area and don't clean up after. Ingat ni Sunway Lagoon ke? Lap lah balik!
7) Phonemenons
People who just love to talk into their speaker phones unnecessarily, and loudly. There's a perfect reason why the telephone has a handle. Which is to prevent from annoying people around you. Unless you're in a conference call, use the handle.
8) Complain Junkies
Yap yap yap yap about how other people are not doing work except for themselves. Hehe..this I used to be. Still am, on my bad days. bwahaha! Yup. I annoy myself sometimes.
9) Resource-Kiasus
Why book the projector/meeting room when it's just needed for backup purposes? At least, why won't you just release the said projector/meeting room the moment you realize that you wouldn't be needing it after all? Why do you have to be so kiasu?
10) Spammers
People who email like 10 jokes in a row. People who forward unconfirmed consumer related rumors. People who select all their contacts in their YM contact list and send messages like "Yahoo Messenger is going to start charging users for using the client software. Send this message to all your friends to avoid from being charged. If you don't send this message to all your friends, you will face bad luck and become financially unstable." Do you actually believe that crap? Tell you what, get up, walk over to your boss, and ask for some work to do.
That said, I don't claim to be perfect. I am at least #3, #5 and #8. What numbers are you?
1) Hummers
People who hum
2) Stressaholics
People who walk around looking as if the world is going to collapse around them. Right-o. Your job is so difficult and everyone is ganging up against you. Are you satisfied now?
3) Mis-emailers
People who send 1 thousand emails a day. Sometimes they send an email again and again because they a) forgot to attach the file, b) put the wrong meeting dates and venues, etc.
4) TLPs
Talk like power. Act like power. Joke like power. Congratulations - but we've heard enough already about how chummy you are with the boss. And yes, you also told us many times that you have too many projects to handle. Of course la, you kan are one of the few that the boss can trust. Awesome. You da' star, you the most terrer.
5) LLBs
Look like busy. Hmm actually they don't bother me. Unless they are LLBs who are also TLPs. Which is worse than just being a TLP. hehe.
6) Watersplashers
People who splash water in the restroom area and don't clean up after. Ingat ni Sunway Lagoon ke? Lap lah balik!
7) Phonemenons
People who just love to talk into their speaker phones unnecessarily, and loudly. There's a perfect reason why the telephone has a handle. Which is to prevent from annoying people around you. Unless you're in a conference call, use the handle.
8) Complain Junkies
Yap yap yap yap about how other people are not doing work except for themselves. Hehe..this I used to be. Still am, on my bad days. bwahaha! Yup. I annoy myself sometimes.
9) Resource-Kiasus
Why book the projector/meeting room when it's just needed for backup purposes? At least, why won't you just release the said projector/meeting room the moment you realize that you wouldn't be needing it after all? Why do you have to be so kiasu?
10) Spammers
People who email like 10 jokes in a row. People who forward unconfirmed consumer related rumors. People who select all their contacts in their YM contact list and send messages like "Yahoo Messenger is going to start charging users for using the client software. Send this message to all your friends to avoid from being charged. If you don't send this message to all your friends, you will face bad luck and become financially unstable." Do you actually believe that crap? Tell you what, get up, walk over to your boss, and ask for some work to do.
That said, I don't claim to be perfect. I am at least #3, #5 and #8. What numbers are you?
Monday, April 17, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Another tag
Tags are fun. But i've been busy, which is why i haven't been visiting my friends' blogs for a while. Despite the Big Boss' advice, I think got carried away with work for the past month and a half. It will continue to be like that for the next month and a half. Some people look down on what I'm doing. Some say what I do sounds clerical. Well, I say, whaatevaa..at the end of the day, which will be soon, I will get to see the results of what I'm doing, while they still struggle with theirs. Some say the job is perhaps not challenging enough for me. I'll take that as a compliment, thank you. The half-wits who think that my work is beneath them wouldn't even know where to start if they were asked to do it. Heck, I didn't know where to begin either 2 months ago, but now I do, and the half-wits will never be able to take that away from me.
I know, I know, I shouldn't listen to what people say. We are all human beings, and we are different when it comes to our senses of satisfaction. While some of us feel satisfied doing whatever it takes to achieve our targets, some others will feel good when they spend long hours in the office, reminding themselves that they have so much on their plates, hence they are important. I'm not being sarcastic, hehe. It's true! I read it in The Mind Gym the other day.
Oh. Where was I? hehe. Ok so I've been tagged by Adrie, this time regarding old skool matters:
How many schools did you go to?
Two. One in Primary, and one in Secondary.
Primary in PJ, and Secondary in Seremban.
OK three. Pre-U in the states.
Was I the studious nerd or the last minute hero?
Studious nerd for subjects I liked. Last minute hero for subjects that I hated. Takde la hero sangat pun. I never scored the subjects I hated. Which were many.
Was I the taiko or the teachers' pet?
I believe i was a little bit of both. I guess I wasn't as much of a taiko as that fella in my class who pulled the pants off an albino kid in front of the class. heheh. (OK it was funny at that time.)
Best 3 subjects...
Chemistry
Additional Math
Modern Math
3 teachers that I remember most (for various reasons)...
Pn F & Pn B. We used to call them Fat and Bad. Famous for their temper and curse words in class. Ever heard of a teacher saying "p***m*k" in a class of 10 and 11-year olds? Luckily most of us turned out quite well today.
Miss V
The teacher who constantly accused me of sleeping in class, even when I was only looking down into my book to check on something.
That's it!
Who now, do I tag? ahh ok..
- Dino
- Wegra
- Mac
- Elly
Ok dah. I'm off to watch Prison Break's latest episode. This may sound a bit teeny bopper-ish, but I have to say that Wentworth Miller is one sexy man. heh.
Au revoir!
I know, I know, I shouldn't listen to what people say. We are all human beings, and we are different when it comes to our senses of satisfaction. While some of us feel satisfied doing whatever it takes to achieve our targets, some others will feel good when they spend long hours in the office, reminding themselves that they have so much on their plates, hence they are important. I'm not being sarcastic, hehe. It's true! I read it in The Mind Gym the other day.
Oh. Where was I? hehe. Ok so I've been tagged by Adrie, this time regarding old skool matters:
How many schools did you go to?
Two. One in Primary, and one in Secondary.
Primary in PJ, and Secondary in Seremban.
OK three. Pre-U in the states.
Was I the studious nerd or the last minute hero?
Studious nerd for subjects I liked. Last minute hero for subjects that I hated. Takde la hero sangat pun. I never scored the subjects I hated. Which were many.
Was I the taiko or the teachers' pet?
I believe i was a little bit of both. I guess I wasn't as much of a taiko as that fella in my class who pulled the pants off an albino kid in front of the class. heheh. (OK it was funny at that time.)
Best 3 subjects...
Chemistry
Additional Math
Modern Math
3 teachers that I remember most (for various reasons)...
Pn F & Pn B. We used to call them Fat and Bad. Famous for their temper and curse words in class. Ever heard of a teacher saying "p***m*k" in a class of 10 and 11-year olds? Luckily most of us turned out quite well today.
Miss V
The teacher who constantly accused me of sleeping in class, even when I was only looking down into my book to check on something.
That's it!
Who now, do I tag? ahh ok..
- Dino
- Wegra
- Mac
- Elly
Ok dah. I'm off to watch Prison Break's latest episode. This may sound a bit teeny bopper-ish, but I have to say that Wentworth Miller is one sexy man. heh.
Au revoir!
Friday, April 14, 2006
ada apa dengan "thats mean"
Do you have people regularly saying funny phrases in the office?
Here's my Top list, in no particular order:
Aight...I'm off. And my blogger is acting up on me. Dunno why. It keeps asking me to save a file when i try to access my page.
Here's my Top list, in no particular order:
- that's mean (what? what's mean?)
- it's means
- the thing is that is
- you know...you know...(no, i don't know!)
- hello...! (in the Clueless Alicia Silverstone intonation. gets annoying if every other sentence begins with a 'hello...!')
- kinds of things
- by rights
Aight...I'm off. And my blogger is acting up on me. Dunno why. It keeps asking me to save a file when i try to access my page.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Kisah leukemia
almost terforgot.
Had my monthly checkup last week. My white blood count was lower than normal. When the doc asked if i'm having a fever, cold or cough...i said no, so she ordered a full blood picture so she can further investigate. Went home, and later that night, i caught myself a slight fever. Yup i'm starting to believe that it's all in the mind. So the low white blood count was justified. hehehe. Anyway, the doc said she'd call me if there was a problem. I haven't heard from her in a week. No news is good news, usually, in the case of government hospitals. :-)
My abnormally high levels of liver enzymes have also dropped, which strengthened their suspicion that my ciclosporin intake was causing the rise.
Bro went to donate his lymphocytes (white blood) that day. Ugh..poor dude had to sit next to the aphresis machine while the nurse poked him about 4-5 times to find a good vein. He has small veins like me, so the nurse couldn't get the blood to flow fast enough. Tak cukup dengan itu, in the little curtained section of the clinic, there were 4 additional nurses watching. If it was me, i would have felt rimas already. Perhaps they should add a viewing room in the future, for the sake of the patient's or donor's comfort. :-)
itu saje...bye!
Had my monthly checkup last week. My white blood count was lower than normal. When the doc asked if i'm having a fever, cold or cough...i said no, so she ordered a full blood picture so she can further investigate. Went home, and later that night, i caught myself a slight fever. Yup i'm starting to believe that it's all in the mind. So the low white blood count was justified. hehehe. Anyway, the doc said she'd call me if there was a problem. I haven't heard from her in a week. No news is good news, usually, in the case of government hospitals. :-)
My abnormally high levels of liver enzymes have also dropped, which strengthened their suspicion that my ciclosporin intake was causing the rise.
Bro went to donate his lymphocytes (white blood) that day. Ugh..poor dude had to sit next to the aphresis machine while the nurse poked him about 4-5 times to find a good vein. He has small veins like me, so the nurse couldn't get the blood to flow fast enough. Tak cukup dengan itu, in the little curtained section of the clinic, there were 4 additional nurses watching. If it was me, i would have felt rimas already. Perhaps they should add a viewing room in the future, for the sake of the patient's or donor's comfort. :-)
itu saje...bye!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Happy Birthday!
April 10th is one day of the year with the most people that I know celebrating their birthdays.
Happy Birthday, all of you!
Live long and prosper.
Happy Birthday, all of you!
Live long and prosper.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
magnificent sunset
A magnificent sunset, something we don't see everyday. view from Petronas Towers. Now, the jam on the roads down below, that's something we see everyday. hehe.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
stress to destress
Three months ago i signed up at yogazone. Got two free trials which i went to. Haven't been since i started paying for it. Hehe.
So today i decided to go. Booked the Yin session, which they promoted as an effective session to destress yourself.
Yeah, right.
In order to make it to the session on time, i stressed to finish my work today. Come 6.15pm, i hurriedly packed to leave. Made two trips to the parking autopay machine, with a trip to the parking management office in between to sort out my season pass that suddenly didn't work. Of course, as i came out onto the road, there was a traffic jam, as always the case when we're rushing somewhere.
Anyway, with my heavy car steering and excellent manouvering skills, i managed to get to the place on time. Aah, finally, you think...
Not!
At the reception, the receptionist told me that she can't find my name in the reservation book. Jeez! So she told me to just go change, and she would let me in if there are any last minute cancellations. I did, and waited. I finally got in.
Sure enough, the session was relaxing. Was it worth it, you ask? Well, for the hurdles i had to jump today to get there, i'd have to say it wasn't worth a single drop of my sweat.
Ok. Am gonna stop complaining and start enjoying my own company, with absolutely nowhere to rush to. Au revoir!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
oh dear
I'm in KL, supposed to be watching a live band perform.
I'm here instead, judging people.
I'm so keji.
Although to be fair to myself, some of them are just asking for it. How can they let pondan-siams into the ladies' room? Btw, if chicks get in for free, do pondan siams get in free as well? Are they considered chicks too? Hehe
I'm so keji, nevertheless.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Argh!
I was having a top day until 10 minutes ago. Now everything is ruined.
Too much laughing, now I'm crying. In front of the computer screen. Padan muka aku.
Because my finger so itchy I went and clicked on Mr Happy to be Unhappy's link of the shanghai girl abusing a kitten. Nope, I'm not going to link you to Mr H2bU's page because then you'll go and click on the link to watch the video. Nobody needs to be traumatized like that.
Damnit, now I can't get the image out of my mind. Of her heels digging into the kitten's throat. That asshole should be punished. Facing difficulties in life doesn't give you the right to abuse innocent animals. That poor kitten never did anything to her.
Damnit! damnit! damnit! *knocking my head on the desk to get that image out*
Hope your day ends better than mine.
Too much laughing, now I'm crying. In front of the computer screen. Padan muka aku.
Because my finger so itchy I went and clicked on Mr Happy to be Unhappy's link of the shanghai girl abusing a kitten. Nope, I'm not going to link you to Mr H2bU's page because then you'll go and click on the link to watch the video. Nobody needs to be traumatized like that.
Damnit, now I can't get the image out of my mind. Of her heels digging into the kitten's throat. That asshole should be punished. Facing difficulties in life doesn't give you the right to abuse innocent animals. That poor kitten never did anything to her.
Damnit! damnit! damnit! *knocking my head on the desk to get that image out*
Hope your day ends better than mine.
Laughter
Laughter is the best medicine.
Especially when it's at the expense of other people.
Muahaahahaaa!
Especially when it's at the expense of other people.
Muahaahahaaa!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
M the Opera
My friend from company K got free musical tickets again, and invited me. This time for M the Opera. So, in my attempt to become a more cultured person, I accepted the invite.
It started off well. I got an excellent seat right smack in the middle of the hall. Very impressed.
20 minutes into the show, I turned to Friend and whispered, "what the hell is going on?" Friend whispered back, "gosh, I don't know." So we continued watching grown men and women in fancy clothes prancing around the stage. It felt similar to watching that weird freak musical at Sun City in South Africa in 2003. Can't remember now what it's called, but at least that freak musical had topless women in it (not that it matters to me, haha).
I would tell you what the musical was all about, but i just didn't get it. It was about a fashion designer, that is as much as I could tell you. It wasn't clear to me what the issues were, and how the characters felt about them. My high-school English Dramas had way more solid storylines compared to this. Well, maybe it's just me not being artsy fartsy enough.
Anyway, we couldn't bear having to sit through the second act, so we left during the intermission. Need I say more?
Next up: P Ramlee the Musical.
It started off well. I got an excellent seat right smack in the middle of the hall. Very impressed.
20 minutes into the show, I turned to Friend and whispered, "what the hell is going on?" Friend whispered back, "gosh, I don't know." So we continued watching grown men and women in fancy clothes prancing around the stage. It felt similar to watching that weird freak musical at Sun City in South Africa in 2003. Can't remember now what it's called, but at least that freak musical had topless women in it (not that it matters to me, haha).
I would tell you what the musical was all about, but i just didn't get it. It was about a fashion designer, that is as much as I could tell you. It wasn't clear to me what the issues were, and how the characters felt about them. My high-school English Dramas had way more solid storylines compared to this. Well, maybe it's just me not being artsy fartsy enough.
Anyway, we couldn't bear having to sit through the second act, so we left during the intermission. Need I say more?
Next up: P Ramlee the Musical.
Monday, March 27, 2006
A few minutes later...
Lan, as always, offering his creative opinions.
*Yahoo IDs masked for privacy purposes.
*Yahoo IDs masked for privacy purposes.
Wings??? right....
Jalan Ampang Beggar
As I was waiting for the traffic light at the intersection of Jalan Ampang and Sultan Ismail today, a panicky looking dude tapped on my car window. I rolled down the window about 10cm wide, thinking he wanted to ask for directions. Instead...he asked me for money. RM50.
Mr : Miss, my car broke down in front, and i forgot my wallet. Can you spare me RM50?
Me : What for?
Mr : So I can take a taxi.
Me : Sorry Encik, I don't have RM50. (where on earth is he going with RM50 cab fare? Genting?)
Mr : How about RM20? I'll push the money back to you, I promise.
Me : Sorry Encik, RM20 pun I tak ada.
Mr : How much have you got? Any amount will do.
Me : Huh? I said I don't have any money, I'm sorry. (I have RM350 in my wallet, but I sure ain't giving it to you after that question, buddy.)
Mr : (looking very disappointed) Oh...ok thanks.
I drove off feeling bad about myself. What if the dude really needed the money? I could've at least given him RM2 for a bus ride. I drove along Sultan Ismail, keeping an eye for a stalled car, but the road came to an end and I didn't see any.
Told my friends about what happened, and one said that he's already been harassed like that twice. His description of the man was quite similar to mine. Jeez!
Thank God the traffic wasn't too bad, and I only felt bad for about 20 minutes. Thank God I didn't give the man a single cent. Thank God that friend was around to lift my guilt off.
The man asking for money is malay, mid-40s, skinny, greying hair, weird teeth. He's got a slight east coast accent to his English. Man, what is this city coming to?
Mr : Miss, my car broke down in front, and i forgot my wallet. Can you spare me RM50?
Me : What for?
Mr : So I can take a taxi.
Me : Sorry Encik, I don't have RM50. (where on earth is he going with RM50 cab fare? Genting?)
Mr : How about RM20? I'll push the money back to you, I promise.
Me : Sorry Encik, RM20 pun I tak ada.
Mr : How much have you got? Any amount will do.
Me : Huh? I said I don't have any money, I'm sorry. (I have RM350 in my wallet, but I sure ain't giving it to you after that question, buddy.)
Mr : (looking very disappointed) Oh...ok thanks.
I drove off feeling bad about myself. What if the dude really needed the money? I could've at least given him RM2 for a bus ride. I drove along Sultan Ismail, keeping an eye for a stalled car, but the road came to an end and I didn't see any.
Told my friends about what happened, and one said that he's already been harassed like that twice. His description of the man was quite similar to mine. Jeez!
Thank God the traffic wasn't too bad, and I only felt bad for about 20 minutes. Thank God I didn't give the man a single cent. Thank God that friend was around to lift my guilt off.
The man asking for money is malay, mid-40s, skinny, greying hair, weird teeth. He's got a slight east coast accent to his English. Man, what is this city coming to?
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Aaaaahhh
Apollo Bay, Australia
I was reading a book that asked the reader to think about their holiday, and this picture came to my mind.
Maybe next I should go cruise on the French Riviera.
That should be nice, eh?
Monday, March 20, 2006
Relaxxxx.....
Stress tahap 15%. Mainly infected by other people.
Things have been moving pretty fast at work over the past week. So these days I've got anxious people calling me to ask questions on the work that they're supposed to be doing. I guess it was partly my fault for not clearly explaining how things should be done.
But that's OK, because I always end my emails with, "Please don't hesitate to call us if you have any questions regarding the standards." What I should add from now on is, "And please remain calm while doing so. Should you feel extreme anxiety towards the work that is to be completed, please refrain yourself from jumping off the Level 60 balcony."
Hmm...maybe our standards pack should come with a health warning, "Process Documentation Boleh Membahayakan Kesihatan." haha.
Ahh...it always feels good to be doing something that has clear goals.
Gnite.
Things have been moving pretty fast at work over the past week. So these days I've got anxious people calling me to ask questions on the work that they're supposed to be doing. I guess it was partly my fault for not clearly explaining how things should be done.
But that's OK, because I always end my emails with, "Please don't hesitate to call us if you have any questions regarding the standards." What I should add from now on is, "And please remain calm while doing so. Should you feel extreme anxiety towards the work that is to be completed, please refrain yourself from jumping off the Level 60 balcony."
Hmm...maybe our standards pack should come with a health warning, "Process Documentation Boleh Membahayakan Kesihatan." haha.
Ahh...it always feels good to be doing something that has clear goals.
Gnite.
green chilli
my favourite snack. dipped in soy sauce. i could munch on a whole plate of this.
fuhh...at last the weekend is over. I must admit I had loads of fun Yamseng-ing, eating and dancing. i just need to find time to recuperate sometime this week.
aight..have a good week ahead.
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......mmmmmm senggg!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Me feeling overwhelmed
It's just one of those days where everything just doesn't seem to go the right way.
- accidentally deleted important work stuff (nasib ada tape backup)
- dropped 60% of the things i picked up
- said a bunch of things I wasn't supposed to say
- spent money on things I don't really need
- queued at the toll lane with 5 cars ahead of me, when there's an empty lane right next to it
then there are the events that I committed to attend for the next two days, which is going to leave me with no time to myself. yea, i know...nobody's forcing me to go to these events, but I want to. This "life is short" state of mind is starting to take a toll on me, perhaps.
So, I've created a list of the things i have to do and places i have to be at this weekend, and categorized them into "Do Now", "Delegate", "Diminish", "Defer" and "Delete". A tip I learned from The Mind Gym. For example:
Nevermind this week, but in the future, i need to remember that life is short, but it's not THAT short that I have to do everything at once. That life is short, but it doesn't mean that i can't stop to think about what I'm doing and what I'm saying.
Ok, deep breaths....relax. I'm off to bed.
Have a good F1 weekend!
- accidentally deleted important work stuff (nasib ada tape backup)
- dropped 60% of the things i picked up
- said a bunch of things I wasn't supposed to say
- spent money on things I don't really need
- queued at the toll lane with 5 cars ahead of me, when there's an empty lane right next to it
then there are the events that I committed to attend for the next two days, which is going to leave me with no time to myself. yea, i know...nobody's forcing me to go to these events, but I want to. This "life is short" state of mind is starting to take a toll on me, perhaps.
So, I've created a list of the things i have to do and places i have to be at this weekend, and categorized them into "Do Now", "Delegate", "Diminish", "Defer" and "Delete". A tip I learned from The Mind Gym. For example:
- Burn CDs: Delegate to brother for RMxx tip
- French Homework: Diminish to half. Can do the rest while in class.
- Tidy up room: Defer to April
- Get some alone time: Defer to Tuesday night
- Sleep: Do Now
hehe.
Nevermind this week, but in the future, i need to remember that life is short, but it's not THAT short that I have to do everything at once. That life is short, but it doesn't mean that i can't stop to think about what I'm doing and what I'm saying.
Ok, deep breaths....relax. I'm off to bed.
Have a good F1 weekend!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
This time around...
It's that time of the year where I usually post a list of items that I want for being another year older.
This year, i'm just glad to be alive, up and walking.
I couldn't ask for anything more.
....
Well, actually, if I could get my tie-rods and steering rack magically fixed, that would be good too. My banana boat also needs to be up and running whaatt...hahaha! :-)
Bon anniversaire à moi.
This year, i'm just glad to be alive, up and walking.
I couldn't ask for anything more.
....
Well, actually, if I could get my tie-rods and steering rack magically fixed, that would be good too. My banana boat also needs to be up and running whaatt...hahaha! :-)
Bon anniversaire à moi.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Satisfaction
I just wanted to make a note that I had a very satisfying day.
I completed the tasks at work that was supposed to complete today.
I had soto and Aji-Don's again, after a week long craving..with a couple of friends, gossiping and people-watching.
Pakmok's statement of the day: "Orang yang jalan bongkok are boring people. Orang yang jalan tegak are interesting people." O.K., whatever you say Pakmok.
I guess from this entry, you could tell that I'm a person who slouches. hehehe..
I completed the tasks at work that was supposed to complete today.
I had soto and Aji-Don's again, after a week long craving..with a couple of friends, gossiping and people-watching.
Pakmok's statement of the day: "Orang yang jalan bongkok are boring people. Orang yang jalan tegak are interesting people." O.K., whatever you say Pakmok.
I guess from this entry, you could tell that I'm a person who slouches. hehehe..
Friday, March 10, 2006
Checkup news
Blood counts normal, alhamdulillah. No news on the liver, since I only did my test yesterday. Doc said she would call today if there's anything important. No news is good news i guess, unless the doctor got too busy and forgot. heheh.
I'm off the ciclosporin now. They'll monitor in the next couple of months to see if i get any GVHD. My brother is scheduled to donate his white cells early next month, and they'll just store it until i need it for DLI.
While i was circling the hospital for parking, i saw a poster ad that said "Hari Ginjal Sedunia". Mum was driving too fast for me to snap a picture.
Ginjal. Hihi..! Doesn't the word sound funny? Ginjal. Ginjal Ginjal Ginjal. :-)
Ginjal in French is "le rein". Hmm..doesn't sound as funny.
Adios. Je vais faire mes devoirs de francaise. J'ai beaucoup des devoirs pour demain, parce'que samedi dernière we didn't have a class. (euh...est-ce que c'est juste?)
I'm off the ciclosporin now. They'll monitor in the next couple of months to see if i get any GVHD. My brother is scheduled to donate his white cells early next month, and they'll just store it until i need it for DLI.
While i was circling the hospital for parking, i saw a poster ad that said "Hari Ginjal Sedunia". Mum was driving too fast for me to snap a picture.
Ginjal. Hihi..! Doesn't the word sound funny? Ginjal. Ginjal Ginjal Ginjal. :-)
Ginjal in French is "le rein". Hmm..doesn't sound as funny.
Adios. Je vais faire mes devoirs de francaise. J'ai beaucoup des devoirs pour demain, parce'que samedi dernière we didn't have a class. (euh...est-ce que c'est juste?)
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Uweekkkk
My attempt to pump enough nutrition into my body yesterday failed miserably. Before I had my transplant I used to drink that soy mixture twice a day. I've only taken it twice post transplant, mainly because the thing is so yucky that my body couldn't take it.
So yesterday morning, I decided to start on the soy mixture again. 2 hours later, I was wretching like mad. I left my friends halfway through lunch because I felt nauseous again. The lady at the premier toilet let me in for free after a short thought that maybe it would be worse if i puked right in front of the RM2 toilet. Note to KLCC: keep one toilet on the floor normal lah...takkan u nak expect people to climb to the other floor in the case of an emergency?
So, halfday, I got permission from boss to go home, and just slept and lied on my bed from 3pm to 10Am the next morning. Had a slight fever last night, probably from all the wretching.
But everything's good today. Back to normal self. I have my checkup tomorrow, hope everything goes well. :-)
Ciao tutti.
So yesterday morning, I decided to start on the soy mixture again. 2 hours later, I was wretching like mad. I left my friends halfway through lunch because I felt nauseous again. The lady at the premier toilet let me in for free after a short thought that maybe it would be worse if i puked right in front of the RM2 toilet. Note to KLCC: keep one toilet on the floor normal lah...takkan u nak expect people to climb to the other floor in the case of an emergency?
So, halfday, I got permission from boss to go home, and just slept and lied on my bed from 3pm to 10Am the next morning. Had a slight fever last night, probably from all the wretching.
But everything's good today. Back to normal self. I have my checkup tomorrow, hope everything goes well. :-)
Ciao tutti.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
magic brownie
Can I have a Magic Brownie please?
picture taken at a boulangerie at The Curve. ;-)
Want to sleep. Spent too much time shopping today.
picture taken at a boulangerie at The Curve. ;-)
Want to sleep. Spent too much time shopping today.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
I smell...
...nothing right.
Since I had my transplant, my sense of smell has shifted quite significantly. Things just don't smell the way I remember them anymore.
Perfumes all smell the same to me.
Shampoos smell yucky.
Chilli sauce smells like soap.
I could be standing behind a bus and not realize that the fume is blowing in my face.
I can't smell the aroma of KFC.
People fart around me and I don't suspect a thing..(yea..gross)
Perhaps the wire in my brain that connects the scent/odor to my memory is not functioning anymore.
Recently, in my bedroom, i smelled something burning. i checked all the wires to make sure all the electricals are ok. it turned out that it was only my organic mosquito repellent gel, that was supposed to smell like lime!
There are a few things though, that smell exactly as i remember them.
the aroma of coffee in the morning
delicious steamy cheese melting on a pizza
tomyam soup
Coca-cola
the scent of victory when i'm about to win something on PS2. heheh.
Maybe I need to do a smell-memory brain remapping.
I'm off the ciclosporin in a week's time. Just penicillin after this...
Since I had my transplant, my sense of smell has shifted quite significantly. Things just don't smell the way I remember them anymore.
Perfumes all smell the same to me.
Shampoos smell yucky.
Chilli sauce smells like soap.
I could be standing behind a bus and not realize that the fume is blowing in my face.
I can't smell the aroma of KFC.
People fart around me and I don't suspect a thing..(yea..gross)
Perhaps the wire in my brain that connects the scent/odor to my memory is not functioning anymore.
Recently, in my bedroom, i smelled something burning. i checked all the wires to make sure all the electricals are ok. it turned out that it was only my organic mosquito repellent gel, that was supposed to smell like lime!
There are a few things though, that smell exactly as i remember them.
the aroma of coffee in the morning
delicious steamy cheese melting on a pizza
tomyam soup
Coca-cola
the scent of victory when i'm about to win something on PS2. heheh.
Maybe I need to do a smell-memory brain remapping.
I'm off the ciclosporin in a week's time. Just penicillin after this...
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Note to self...
...reserve one day every weekend for total rest.
Woke up early this morning and headed for Genting Highlands. Since there were two lovely children on the trip, I didn't expect much thrill rides, but I managed to cover the three I wanted to go on:
- Space Shot
- Corkscrew
- Flying Coaster (ala...yang spiderman/superman tuu)
after a tiring day..went back home and got ready to go see the musical I wanted so much to see. Thanks to mon amie R who got free tickets from his company K.
Yup. It was as awesome as I expected it to be. Beautifully choreographed, beautiful songs, extravagant set. Although, to be honest, I did occasionally check my watch to see how long the show had been running. Especially during the first half, where I was beginning to worry that the night would turn into a Tiara J Live in Concert. My favorite was the part where the Sultan was celebrating his marriage to Gusti Puteri. Adlin simply rocked the stage! Adipati and the Princess were good, but I thought Hang Tuah had the most beautiful voice. It was a bit odd though, everybody looked so Jawa, then suddenly you see Hang Tuah with a pan-asian look..hihi..nevermind laaah. I want to complain oso there's nothing much I can compare it too.
Ok, buona notte. I had a good Sunday. Everybody have a good monday, aiight.
Woke up early this morning and headed for Genting Highlands. Since there were two lovely children on the trip, I didn't expect much thrill rides, but I managed to cover the three I wanted to go on:
- Space Shot
- Corkscrew
- Flying Coaster (ala...yang spiderman/superman tuu)
after a tiring day..went back home and got ready to go see the musical I wanted so much to see. Thanks to mon amie R who got free tickets from his company K.
Yup. It was as awesome as I expected it to be. Beautifully choreographed, beautiful songs, extravagant set. Although, to be honest, I did occasionally check my watch to see how long the show had been running. Especially during the first half, where I was beginning to worry that the night would turn into a Tiara J Live in Concert. My favorite was the part where the Sultan was celebrating his marriage to Gusti Puteri. Adlin simply rocked the stage! Adipati and the Princess were good, but I thought Hang Tuah had the most beautiful voice. It was a bit odd though, everybody looked so Jawa, then suddenly you see Hang Tuah with a pan-asian look..hihi..nevermind laaah. I want to complain oso there's nothing much I can compare it too.
Ok, buona notte. I had a good Sunday. Everybody have a good monday, aiight.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
miscellaneous photos
The soto that i've been craving for since 2004. Found it last night at Plaza Damas..in a shop called Aji Don's or something like that..opposite the Starbucks. Yummy!
One day I after work, I found a present on my car. An empty box of Dunhills. Excuse me, does my car look like a trash can?? Jeez...
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
PGL Sucks...
...because i've been searching for tickets high and low, and apparently all the tickets are sold out.
I know a person who actually went to see a show, and there were rows of empty seats! What gives? Where did all the tickets go?
Let me know if you know where else I can get tickets. Calling the box office is useless, because they'll tell you the show is sold out.
merci.
I know a person who actually went to see a show, and there were rows of empty seats! What gives? Where did all the tickets go?
Let me know if you know where else I can get tickets. Calling the box office is useless, because they'll tell you the show is sold out.
merci.
Monday, February 20, 2006
mon samedi, et dimanche
busy last couple of days. laced with trips to the driving range, and Hotshot golf on PS2.
it must be my car's birthday last weekend. first, insurance and road tax. then what started as a servicing trip to the mechanic's ended with me becoming 600 bucks poorer, when I found out that my back left tyre was koyak! Perhaps my banana boat is trying to kill both me and my bank account. luckily the mechanic aunty saw it when i arrived at the service center, and luckily I am still alive. Driving with the spare tyre, at 70kmph, was the most frustrating of all. the bright red rims on the spare tyre was icing on top of the cake.
then there was the engagement.
Nope, not mine...hehe. Zoors, welcome to the family. May your children be as cute as me.
it must be my car's birthday last weekend. first, insurance and road tax. then what started as a servicing trip to the mechanic's ended with me becoming 600 bucks poorer, when I found out that my back left tyre was koyak! Perhaps my banana boat is trying to kill both me and my bank account. luckily the mechanic aunty saw it when i arrived at the service center, and luckily I am still alive. Driving with the spare tyre, at 70kmph, was the most frustrating of all. the bright red rims on the spare tyre was icing on top of the cake.
then there was the engagement.
Nope, not mine...hehe. Zoors, welcome to the family. May your children be as cute as me.
i'll upload more photos soon.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
bizarro
I am driving back home from Ampang and was asked to pull aside by the police at the road block on kesas highway. They took my IC and license for a couple of minutes, before letting me go.
What on earth just happened?
Yup, i'm posting while driving because now i'm stuck in a traffic jam. 1 pagi pun jam ke?!
Oh, it's just a wedding car that got stopped by the police. I guess the newlyweds must be speeding to their honeymoon or something.
And I think i have Bloginson Syndrome.
Have a good weekend. Don't blog and drive.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I'm so lucky.
Yet another disastrous encounter.
OK, I'm exaggerating. Where I come from (professionally), an encounter like that would only be called an Incident. Only if the Incident occurs more than once, I would recognize it as a Problem. I then need to fix the Problem, which will turn it into a Known Error. That way, I could easily fix the Problem if it occurs again. Only if I can't resolve the Problem within the time frame I have set, and I see signs that it will become a showstopper, I would call it a Disaster. At the moment, I think I would call it a Disaster.
Thus, invoke Disaster Recovery Plan. My only worry is that my DRP is at a mere Maturity Level 1, which may very well raise some reliability issues. I need to get it up to Level 3.
Haha! Yes, I'm a process geek and you don't know what I'm talking about. But I do.
1 day to the weekend. Ciao!
OK, I'm exaggerating. Where I come from (professionally), an encounter like that would only be called an Incident. Only if the Incident occurs more than once, I would recognize it as a Problem. I then need to fix the Problem, which will turn it into a Known Error. That way, I could easily fix the Problem if it occurs again. Only if I can't resolve the Problem within the time frame I have set, and I see signs that it will become a showstopper, I would call it a Disaster. At the moment, I think I would call it a Disaster.
Thus, invoke Disaster Recovery Plan. My only worry is that my DRP is at a mere Maturity Level 1, which may very well raise some reliability issues. I need to get it up to Level 3.
Haha! Yes, I'm a process geek and you don't know what I'm talking about. But I do.
1 day to the weekend. Ciao!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Buggeration
I've been stuck in the office area for two days now after work, due to the bad weather.
Can't live like this.
Stress level at 10%. Ugh
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
aujourd'hui est...Valentine's Day
So, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I have changed my page to RED for 24 hours.
Semoga sesiapa yang masuk sini hari ni sakit mata.
Dan semoga semua restoran2 fine dining di KL mengaut untung yang banyak malam ini.
No, I'm not bitter. Really.
Have a good one people!
Semoga sesiapa yang masuk sini hari ni sakit mata.
Dan semoga semua restoran2 fine dining di KL mengaut untung yang banyak malam ini.
No, I'm not bitter. Really.
Have a good one people!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Je suis fatigué
What a Sunday. I don't even wake up as early for work everyday.
7.45 AM
Sunrise
8.45 AM
13 Audis, 2 VW Golfs and an Evo
10.40 AM
Janda Baik
2.00 PM
Rabbit Park
6.00 PM
Driving range. No pictures today..hujan la.
Loads of fun, although tiring. Now must sleep. Tomolo got early meeting.
Good Night!
7.45 AM
Sunrise
8.45 AM
13 Audis, 2 VW Golfs and an Evo
10.40 AM
Janda Baik
2.00 PM
Rabbit Park
6.00 PM
Driving range. No pictures today..hujan la.
Loads of fun, although tiring. Now must sleep. Tomolo got early meeting.
Good Night!
Friday, February 10, 2006
good morning!
I haven't had time to catch up on my blog readings, and I found out that I've been tagged by Dino. I thought, why not?
Four jobs I've had in my life:
1 room scheduler for my uni's Student Center
2 office girl at the Robotics Institute, Pittsburgh
3 teaching assistant
4 IT analyst
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1 Notting Hill
2 The Gladiator
3 Jerry Maguire
4 My Best Friend's Wedding
Four places I have lived:
1 PJ
2 Seremban
3 Irvine, California
4 Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1 Grey's Anatomy
2 Dr House, MD
3 Desperate Housewives
4 Prison Break
Four places I have been on vacation:
1 Australia - Perth, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne
2 South Africa - J'burg and Cape Town
3 London
4 Indonesia
Four of my favorite dishes:
1 Steak
2 Soto Uncle Don's
3 Pizza Uno pizzas
4 Yong Tau Foo
Four websites I visit daily:
1 Gmail
2 my own blog. (yes, a tad narcissistic, i know)
3 wongahbeng.blogspot.com
4 gamespot.com
Four places I would rather be right now:
1 In my bed
2 At my car service center
3 Shopping at 1-Utama
4 Dubai
Four bloggers I am tagging:
1 Firdaus M
2 Firdaus the Monologger
3 Wong Ah Beng
4 Elly
Visit to the doctor's yesterday was good. More tapering off my medication, blood counts normal. Liver enzymes still elevated, but is improving since the last test. Planning for DLI (Donor Leukocyte Infusion) sometime after April.
It's now Friday. Yahoo!
Four jobs I've had in my life:
1 room scheduler for my uni's Student Center
2 office girl at the Robotics Institute, Pittsburgh
3 teaching assistant
4 IT analyst
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1 Notting Hill
2 The Gladiator
3 Jerry Maguire
4 My Best Friend's Wedding
Four places I have lived:
1 PJ
2 Seremban
3 Irvine, California
4 Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1 Grey's Anatomy
2 Dr House, MD
3 Desperate Housewives
4 Prison Break
Four places I have been on vacation:
1 Australia - Perth, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne
2 South Africa - J'burg and Cape Town
3 London
4 Indonesia
Four of my favorite dishes:
1 Steak
2 Soto Uncle Don's
3 Pizza Uno pizzas
4 Yong Tau Foo
Four websites I visit daily:
1 Gmail
2 my own blog. (yes, a tad narcissistic, i know)
3 wongahbeng.blogspot.com
4 gamespot.com
Four places I would rather be right now:
1 In my bed
2 At my car service center
3 Shopping at 1-Utama
4 Dubai
Four bloggers I am tagging:
1 Firdaus M
2 Firdaus the Monologger
3 Wong Ah Beng
4 Elly
Visit to the doctor's yesterday was good. More tapering off my medication, blood counts normal. Liver enzymes still elevated, but is improving since the last test. Planning for DLI (Donor Leukocyte Infusion) sometime after April.
It's now Friday. Yahoo!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
driving range
Lyds, I did that already. Once we got back in town, the next day.
HAHAHA.
(Yes..yes..i know i seriously need to fix my posture)
Monday, February 06, 2006
I met someone...
...over the weekend. Well, we didn't actually meet. It was more of a split-second of eye contact, which was enough to make us realize that we were in each other's presence.
I have played the unfortunate encounter in my mind, a few months back. And when the
unfortunate encounter in question actually took place, it was exactly as I how imagined it would be.
An utter disaster.
I guess there's not much anyone can do, when some like it hot, and some like it not. ;-)
On a totally separate note, below is a photo I took while in Kuantan, which reminded me of our celebrity blogger, Mr Wong Ah Beng. If you can't see the photo, it's a shot of a road sign that says, "Jalan Dato' Wong Ah Jang." Maybe the Dato' is his brother?
Here's to a good week ahead. Cheers!
I have played the unfortunate encounter in my mind, a few months back. And when the
unfortunate encounter in question actually took place, it was exactly as I how imagined it would be.
An utter disaster.
I guess there's not much anyone can do, when some like it hot, and some like it not. ;-)
On a totally separate note, below is a photo I took while in Kuantan, which reminded me of our celebrity blogger, Mr Wong Ah Beng. If you can't see the photo, it's a shot of a road sign that says, "Jalan Dato' Wong Ah Jang." Maybe the Dato' is his brother?
Here's to a good week ahead. Cheers!
Saturday, February 04, 2006
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