Saturday, September 11, 2004

sudden disease

i was diagnosed with a blood disease this week. it will take a while to cure. many things will have to be postponed, e.g. my work, my studies, my life. i guess my life now is to focus on getting better. ppl have advised me to be strong, and i will be. the only thing that kind of ticks me off is when the same people keep telling again and again to "berselawat banyak2 tau tak!!", with a look as if i don't. Just because i try to act normal, laugh and smile, crack my stupid jokes, it does not mean that i'm not aware that i'm sick. I am fully aware that I'm sick. I ask for help from God in my own time. Those people don't need to see the tears that run when i ask for God to give me strength to go through this ordeal. Just because I look happy despite having a disease, it does not mean that I forget to "berselawat" to God. I am just trying to be strong, for God's sake. I guess what I'm trying to say is Praying to God is not equal to Looking Sad and Too Uptight.

guess i will not be blogging too often now (as if i blog everyday now, anyway, haha.)

wish me a speedy recovery. thanks.