Saturday, December 31, 2005

This time last year

This time last year, I was staring out of the hospital room window, watching the traffic build up.
This time last year, I watched the new year fireworks all around KL through my hospital room window.
This time last year, I was all by myself in the hospital room.
This time last year, I wondered if I would live another year.

This time, I'm getting ready to go the new year barbecue party that I missed last year.

Aight. I'm off! Have fun everyone! And be safe.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Getaway needed, a.s.a.p.

Early morning shopping at KLCC on Monday left me feeling a tad less than hot. The clothes were either too tight or too big for me. The hair stylist on Level 4 told me he couldn't help me now, but "do come back in a couple of months". Argh! And I'm facing a personal turmoil, but would rather not discuss it here for fear of sounding too whiny. So, a month after my Aussie adventure, I'm desperately in need of another getaway. It started simple enough, maybe a session at my facial place with mum. A few hours later, I had a list of things I'd like to do. As I'm writing this, I'm half-way through an online reservation at Shangri-La Putrajaya. Half-way being the keyword - because suddenly all sorts of other options came to mind, such as:
  • A day at Genting Highlands
  • Colmar Tropicale, Bukit Tinggi
  • Half day at Dewi Sri Spa, Plaza Damas
  • Steak at Jakes
  • Singapore
  • A night at Cyberview Lodge & Spa
  • Half day with a genius hair stylist (know one, anyone?)
  • Half day at old house, to collect clothes that were way too small for me a year ago, which will fit me loosely today

Note that all the options include activities that will leave me feeling fabulous. Oh dear, I'm starting to sound "soooo SJP*," as my friend would put it. Well ladies, a girl's gotta lurrvve herself, right? Anybody leaking pus out of their brains yet? Hahaha.

So I guess I'll spend today just taking my work trousers to the tailor for alteration. Then maybe a facial with my mum. Perhaps Shangri-La tomorrow night.

Well, have a happy new year everyone, wherever you plan to be! Mine will be the usual, which is anywhere convenient.


* SJP: Sarah Jessica Parker

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Seeing Through People

Don't you just wish sometimes that you could see through people? Perhaps to read their thoughts, so you could make your next move? Or don't you just wish sometimes that people could see through you, so you never have to say a word?

D50 tip from WAB. Note to torque: You punya Leica tu bleh buat camni ke? Hihihihi!

Oh, Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

2006 minus 9 days

I was cleaning up my office laptop just now, and suddenly felt a rush coming through my head. I start work in less than a month! After 1 year and 3 months of not working (and getting used to it), I suppose I'll have to take it one day at a time, until I get my groove back. Yup after that we can make a movie of How Nadio Got Her Groove Back. hehe. Wait. Did I even have a groove back then? hmm...nervous!! Well, I guess Boss was right when he told me, "don't worry, we'll start you slowly." Not too slow, I hope.

Flashback Thursday, 2nd September 2004. Morning in the office - I was telling aina and gang that I was feeling very tired. They saw the pale look on my face and suggested that I go home and rest. That was the last day I was at work, until now. I don't think I did much work that week anyway, what with the Merdeka Holidays and all. Oh well, it seems like that day was ages ago, everytime I try to recall it.

I suppose it's time of the year where everybody starts writing down their resolutions, hopes and wishes for the new year. Here's mine:
  1. Stay in remission (next bone marrow biopsy on 5th Jan. erk, is that in 2 weeks' time?)
  2. Grow hair (pakai shampoo Tongkat Ali ok ke?)

I've a longer list of things to do by year-end:

  1. Get ready for work - clothes, laptop, etc.
  2. Start sleeping and waking up like normal working people, not like a Batu Caves bat
  3. Get all my MBA stuff ready (got really inspired after reading Dino's postings)


Saturday, December 17, 2005

Three Weddings and a Funeral

Yup. That's what I did today. A sad rainy day at a tahlil arwah improved as the day progressed. A family lost a member, six families gained sons and daughters. A survival of the human race.

Since it's almost the end of the year, it got me to thinking about my own gains and losses. People I've met told me how much weight I have lost. And I thought...yea, among other things. In one unbelievable year, I've lost my health, time, and a person I cared about. I've lost the freedom to do things without worrying if I would have adverse reactions, e.g. playing with my cats, eating salads, drinking unboiled water, etc. But then I started thinking about what I have gained. The knowledge. The realization that my family would do just about anything for me. The learning that good friends will always be around, even if love doesn't last forever. The different way of looking at life. The validation that God is always there to help us out.

I guess life is fair after all, and in the end everything balances out. Personally, I think I have gained more this year than I have lost. And the cycle continues as life goes on.

Here's to a special year, and good things coming.


As the outing with the girls (and boys + baby) was just starting to pick up pace, I received a phone call saying that one of our seniors passed away at 9PM. She had Mixed Connective Tissue Disease and became critical in the past couple of weeks. She was 30. My last communication with her was 5 months ago, it was a thank you email for the "good luck" Spa Treatment she bought me before I had my stem cell transplant. We were both on the same medication that causes hair loss, and there were many hilarious emails exchanged debating the best ways to deal with it (wigs? tudung? au naturel?). Despite her own illness and having lost her father to cancer recently, she always encouraged me to be strong and to face my challenges head on.

My heartfelt condolences to her mother and sisters.

To a very special person who fought till the end. Al-fatihah.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Day +155

Blood counts OK, but liver enzymes still elevated. Planned for a liver ultrasound and Bone Marrow Biopsy in January. Since I had Refractory AML, Doc planned for my brother to donate his lymphocytes to minimize my chances of having a relapse. Medication-wise, Doc reduced the Ciclosporin, and stopped my Bactrim. He instead gave me Pentamidine through a nebulizer, which extended my visit to the clinic to an extra two hours..I was so bored that i fell asleep with the nebulizer covering my nose.

D50 tak D50...last2 camera Nokia jugak yang handy. Hehehe

I had to inhale the Pentamidine until it dried up. Yuck.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Went to see Narnia with Pak Mok and Z last weekend. I thought the book was better than the movie. Oh well, it's always that way anyway, innit?

Slow weekend, otherwise. Spent a couple of hours reflecting upon my life. The Friday night out with friends and new friends was rather exciting, I thought. Perhaps the discontinuation of the steroids has reduced my self-conciousness. It felt awesome!

Reflections by the lake, from my Nokia lens.

Subsequent reflection photos will be shot through my brand new Nikon D50, which I'm very excited about. Still trying to learn the ropes on that camera, hoping the shots will be worth the money I spent. He he he!

Off to the doc's again tomorrow. Have a feeling everything will be well. is good, I say.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Pictures from the highway

I just love how striking this building is

And this...very disturbing

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Livin' it up

Been itching for interesting things to do since Tuesday, so I decided to spend my days like a tourist in KL. First stop, National Monument. Spent an hour plus there snapping photos, and I was sweating like crazy already.

Go here for more piccies. I guess the Lake Gardens will have to wait another day.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Cerita pasal penyakit

Haven't written about my leukemia for quite a while, because there's nothing much to write, really. I hope in time there will be no more to write about and we can forget about the whole ordeal.

To cut a short story shorter, let's just say that everything is turning out well, thus far. Alhamdulillah.