Saturday, May 28, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
...do as shoppers do.
couldn't resist the green adidas shoes that were going for 40% discount. Wanted to buy them last year, but at the time i thought they were a bit too funky for 200 bucks. since they're now in the sale bin, i decided to just grab 'em. i tried on some very comfortable 3.5" U.R.S. heels, luckily they were out of sizes and I couldn't figure out where I would wear them, since I'm not working. hope they will be on sale when it's time to go back to work.
went to the office to collect some claim cheques. while greeting some colleagues there, I had a sudden yearning to be back to work. until i got stuck in the traffic jam on the way home. yergh, i guess i'll make sure i'm properly recovered. :-)
Thursday, May 26, 2005
woke up very early today, went jogging (more like power walk. i hate running). lots of elderly people in the morning. a bunch of aunties practicing some barn dance. a couple of boys skateboarding. the air wasn't so fresh since the lake stinks. noticed that 95% percent of the park visitors wore Power shoes. gained back what little calorie i burned with a nice piece of roti sardine. nevermind, i told myself. the purpose of the exercise was to strengthen my lungs, not to burn calories. heheh.
Monday, May 23, 2005
ok lah, saya akan cuba yang terbaik untuk tidak muntah setiap kali saya mendengar sesiapa menyebut ayat "saya akan cuba yang terbaik".
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Konsert Prelude Akademi Fantasia 3 turned out somewhat resembling Bintang RTM. Am quite satisfied with the judges' choices, although given the opportunity I would choose perhaps only 3 out of the twenty. Where did all the talents go? Malaysian Idol?
My cat Cookie's skin has gotten better around the ears, but there seems to be no improvement on her back. I have to take her to the vet again next week. Since it was determined that there was no fungus, the vet said she suspects it is skin cancer, although she couldn't see any cancer cells under the microscope. I can't bear to give her away to SPCA in case they put her to sleep given her condition. Since the vet said she couldn't see anything infectious (for me), I guess we'll just keep her. It makes me sad watching her in the small cage, crying for us to let her out and play. But the vet told us not to let her touch ground for a couple of weeks, so I guess letting her out will be against the vet's orders. I long to touch her and hug her like old times, but that would be against my doctor's orders. So I just watch her from outside her cage, and tell her that we will both be OK someday.
Cookie keeping me company in the good old days.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Went to Ikano and here are the things I bought:
- Quilt cover
- Storage Box
- Mouse pad
- Cat food
- Dilbert book
I feel much better now.
And here's a picture of my new Ah-beng mouse, since my 7-year old Microsoft mouse died on me recently. (OK, it didn't really die, it just needs a thorough cleaning. I just needed an excuse to get an optical mouse. Will keep the faithful Microsoft mouse for when I get back to work.)
Oh. I heard Star Wars 3 came out yesterday. Is it any good?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
- my thesis
- learn how to program a palm application
what i really want to do is to get out of this house, go to a mall and window shop. but i'm getting tired of having to ask permission everytime.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Smiles and yays aside, condolences to the family of my fellow AML patient, Guna, who recently died from lung infection. He was always a happy and cheerful dude, and he looked like the type who would survive something like this. I just wished that I had known him better.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Monday came and the consultant said that she wasn't able to schedule a bone marrow aspiration over the weekend. Didn't the blood test say 'urgent'?? Well, anyway, it was scheduled for Tuesday, so I waited another day at the hospital. At that point I was feeling much better, and believed that nothing was wrong with me.
I had my very first bone marrow aspiration that Tuesday morning. It wasn't very pleasant. In fact, it wasn't very pleasant that I cried. I was already given 7.5mg of domicum to sedate me and they wouldn't (couldn't) give me anymore. I felt the needle going through my bone (yikes!) and a couple of seconds later, heard the medical officer say "i couldn't get her bone marrow, we'll have to try again." At that point I started crying. The MO told the nurse to get the consultant. The consultant came a few minutes later, told me to be brave, and took my bone marrow sample. With ease. I learned my lesson that day. After that, everytime I need to have a bone marrow aspiration, I will specifically ask for the consultants to do it. It's called pain management, and it works. :-)
Wednesday, 9th September - I anxiously waited for the doctor to see me. Around 10am, she came to my bed, and said to me, "I'm afraid it's not good news, your bone marrow test shows that you have acute myeloid leukemia."
(gulp) "OK."And so it starts. Chemotherapy (which wasn't too bad), the countless blood and platelet transfusions, the fevers, infections. The attempts to looking strong and being strong. The learning experience - how the health system works, how blood is produced, how the IV drip works, and countless more.
"Is there anything you'd like to ask?"
"Yeah, uhm, how bad is it? Is there like a stage?"
"No, there are no stages for AML, there are types, and you've been diagnosed with AML type M2."
(Is that a good thing or bad?) "Right. Uhm, so what happens now?"
"I'd like to start you on chemo right away, but you'll have to come in for counselling first tomorrow. I'll see you at 2pm tomorrow, ok?"
"Sounds good. Err...would it be possible for me to go home today?"
"Yes, sure. Come and see me at the clinic tomorrow then."
I remember a phone conversation I had with Z that day. He kept asking me if i was ok. I told him, "bee, if you and everybody else would just stop asking me that, I will be."
and I always am OK, if not perfectly so.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
anyway, nothing much happened. was anxious throughout the 3 hour wait. for some reason the doctor's ward round took longer that day. I was called into the treatment room at around 11.30AM. Doc asked me some regular questions, e.g. if i am eating well, if i lost anymore weight (i wish!), if i had any fevers, etc. I just told him that I'm feeling excellent in general.
the last thing i remember was asking the doc if 5mg of domicum is enough to put me out, and he said yes.
when i woke up, it was 1 o'clock.
** saw Guess Who today. Damn, i think i have a crush on Ashton Kutcher. He's such a pretty boy.
Monday, May 09, 2005
2003 - Not cool to watch. My favourite phrase was: Euwwww! Akademi Fantasia? Who watches that stuff?
2004 - Weekly concerts a must watch on TV. Favorite phrase: Can you believe Mas is still in there??
2005 - tak sabarnye....!!!
I have never voted though. Should i?
BTW, ultrasound went well. Last time i had an ultrasound, the spleen absess was quite obvious. Now the doctor couldn't even make it out. He said it's probably about 1.8cm in diameter now. But will still have to do a CT Scan to confirm. Anyway, one thing at a time, let's focus on the bone marrow aspiration first tomorrow. Hope today's streak of good news will follow through. :-)
anyway, i'm having a spleen ultrasound this afternoon. so we'll see if this morning's readings tally with what we see in my spleen later. i hope the absesses are gone, but i must admit that i am feeling a tinge of pain in my spleen from all this anxiety.
ps: oh ya...do listen to the debut album of Shanon Shah - Dilanda Cinta. He's good. He's different. It's refreshing.
Epocrates: Drug index. Contains information almost all drugs, complete with drug interactions, adverse reaction, etc. Of course, you will have to get this information updated regularly to get the latest drug index.
ProfileMD: An application that keeps records of your health information, e.g. allergies, medications, clinical visits, shots, family history, symptom logs, etc. Quite nifty! Unfortunately only available for Palm OS.
Autobuddy: Don't have the link. Search for it at www.palmgear.com. Keeps track of your car services and repairs, etc.
i downloaded a few hundred other applications, but so far i'm quite excited about these three.
btw, did anyone go to the Times Warehouse Sale in PJ last weekend? It was pretty awesome. Thank goodness the place wasn't too crowded when i arrived . I bought Dan Brown's Angels & Demons, Illustrated Edition out of greed and the uncontrollable urge to spend.
was also flipping through "Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus" over the weekend. Quite a good book, i must say. Certain things I've always wondered about men, i understood from reading that book. For example, when my boyfriend always tries to offer me solutions when all i wanted was to pour out my problems - it's because men in general feel more satisfied when they get to solve a problem, rather than talk about it (like women). Anyway, cool book and all. My only question though, is, before the Martians and Venusians got together on earth, how did they reproduce in their planets?
Got my appointment with the datin in a couple of hours. Hope the follow up test with her machine will be good. Tomorrow bone marrow aspiration (will do it under sedation) to see if the level of blast cells in my bone marrow. Aiming for less than 5%. Amin, amin, ya rabbil 'aalamin.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
(would've probably solved the Hotsync issue if i had walked my ass 10 steps to the next room and grabbed the Hotsync cable.)
will try again tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
today has been one of the most productive days for me. yay me!!
i cannot go on like this.
although i get enough hours of sleep (by waking up late), it is not the most optimal way for my cells to regenerate.
so if you have any tips/tricks, let me know.
i guess Tip #1 is Do not sit in front of the computer for too long.
he he he.