I was talking to someone today about broken hearts, and I realized that the Broken-Hearted (BH) partake in some common activities. So, if we were to create a Kit for the Broken Hearted, I would put these 10 things in:
a) Membership for Kickboxing lessons
To release the pent up rage and anger. Who knows, the BH might even get a chance to accidentally kick a real person and pretend that the ex is getting whoop-assed.
b) A golf club
Also for anger therapy.
c) A digital camera
Preferably a digital SLR, because it does a better job at capturing moods. But a simple point-and-shoot would do too. This is for the BH to wander around aimlessly while not appearing too aimless. It also helps to take the mind off the ex in small pockets of time when the BH makes stops to compose shots.
d) A blog account
To vent, whine, bitch and what-not. Oh, and also to post photos taken with the digital camera above.
e) At least 1 pair of married friends
Preferably with a kid or two. This is somewhat a symbiotic relationship. It allows the parents to for once have an adult conversation with each other, while the BH, who probably can’t focus on serious conversations anyway, can entertain the child by playing video games, asking stupid childish questions and watching cartoons like Chicken Little, Spongebob, Shrek, etc.
f) At least 2 single friends
Whom the BH can call to hangout with without much notice. Preferably one hot dude, and one hot girl to increase the level of happening-ness when people see the three of you out together.
g) At least 1 online friend
Preferably someone that the BH doesn’t really know or meet often, for non-judgmental bitching sessions until the wee hours. Conversations usually go like this (assuming BH is a girl):
BH: Buzz!! Can't sleep...
OF: Hey! How are you feeling now?
BH: Angry. (or whatever BH feels at the moment, it may vary from hour to hour) btw, are you listening to HITZ.fm? "Cry me a river" is on. That is sooo totally my song. I've got the mp3, I'll transfer it over to you.
OF: You’ll get over this at some point you know. I’ve been through it before. Believe me.
BH: I know. But right now it just feels like i can't go on. Oh, "One Last Cry" is on air now. Man, Brian McKnight really speaks to me.
OF: You'll find someone who'll make you happy. You'll see. Btw, Negaraku is on air in RTM, is that your song too? <-- OF getting sarcastic after BH claims about 200 songs in a row as her song.
Bla bla bla on and on until one decides to go to bed.
h) Workload the size of Mount Everest with an almost impossible deadline
Definitely works in shifting the focus and energy. Don't be ashamed to go to your boss and ask for a shitload of work.
i) A Valid International Passport
To take unplanned holidays abroad to “run away from all this,” to "mend the heart," to “clear the mind,” and so on.
j) A relatively bottomless bank account
To fill the void by purchasing totally unnecessary items without having to worry about bursting the credit limit. Oh, and of course, to pay for the said unplanned holidays. Unless you break up just before the MATA Fair, in which case you should consider yourself luckier than the other BHs. Heh.
That’s about all I could think of. Did I leave anything else? OK, well, maybe just a teaspoonful of self-pity and a bucket of willpower to move on. But let's not get philosophical. Chewaah...hahaha.
