at the time of writing this entry, i have sat in front of the TV in an attempt to fall asleep, i have lain in bed three times but end up wide awake, trying to sort my head out. I need to finish this paper, i need to sort out the contractor for apartment hangus, i need to sort things at work, and i have about less than 2 weeks to do 'em all.
suddenly all those hours spent at Lepaq, Rasta and all the mamak places, yak-yakking about nonsense seem so irrelevant. ni lah dia, orang tua-tua cakap, "masa itu emas." orang tua-tua also ada cakap, "sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tiada gunanya." note that this regret is directed mostly at the still-not-done yet paper. heh...ya, ya, i know that i said i won't be talking about it until 15 april, but this morning i just feel like whining (some more).
sometimes, in my weaker hours, i start thinking, what's the point of this paper after all? my heart's not in it, and who the hell would choose a really dry topic like process improvement and regret it later anyway? me, it seems. maybe this paper is irrelevant, not the rest of my life. but then another part of me tells me i don't want to be that person who says, "i almost finished my mba u know..." so here i am, unable to sleep, after writing another couple more pages to the document, whining.
maybe the problem is that i'm looking at it so negatively? ok let me try injecting some positive energy into it. Process improvement rocks! It is the most relevant topic in the world! Service desk is the center of the universe! argh..it's so hard to convince myself. hahahaha.
in some ways i am hoping for a miracle to happen. in another way, i feel, what the hell. i just want to be free, so it's do or die. if i manage, awesome. if i don't, i guess it's not the end of the world. i just need to remember never to say, "i almost finished my mba, u know..."
i suppose since it's 7am, it's probably best i get ready and take this opportunity to arrive at work earlier than usual and force myself to smile through the "eh, so early today? are u alright?" comments.
have a good week everyone.
