frustrated beyond repair

i know, some people who work with me sometimes think i am very the kerek. it's not kerekness, i promise. it's purely frustration, which comes off as being kerek.

gosh, i can't stand it when people still ask for non work-related thing from me when i have made it clear that i'm busy with work. really, which part of "sorry i can't do it right now coz i have office work to do" is not clear?

jeez.

i resolve...to eat properly

yesterday:
lunch - maggi goreng, nescafe ais
dinner - tuna sandwich, sirap limau ais

today:
breakfast - one quarter dunkin' donut, coffee
lunch - 2 digestive biscuits
tea break - 1 tuna puff
dinner - 3 spoons of rice, 1 spoon sambal ikan bilis, 1 spoon steamed fish, orange juice. at 11 pm.

not that I'm on a diet or anything..i suppose lately my hectic life has started to dictate my eating patterns. can't let that happen again.

Singapore @ Night

nightshot, originally uploaded by nadi0.

So I'm back from my cowboy plan mini-vacation. It was raining, so didn't get to do much other than roaming the shopping malls.

It was a breathtaking view, despite the continuous drizzle. I must have taken about 30 shots of this, but not a single one turned out to my satisfaction. Crap.

Spirits dampened with the rain,
Every photo opportunity made me remember.

:-)

:-(

i'm lost

i'm lost. I don't know where i'm at, literally. my gps keeps saying
"Acquiring Satellites."

doesn't matter. I will know I have arrived when I get there. sometimes
it's the destination that matters, eh? not the journey.

:-)

The One with All the Blogging

my top 10 most played mp3s on my Nano..i think i'm versatile, and a romantic. hihihi....

10. Radzlan - Smelly Pillow Ballad
9. Radzlan - Only Young Once
8. Flop Poppy - Pilu
7. Dygta - Maafkan (Acoustic)
6. Dewa - Perasaanku Tentang Perasaanku
5. Peterpan - Tak Bisakah
4. James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
3. Samsons - Bukan Diriku
2. Spider - Buat Sang Puteri
1. John Petrucci - Wishful Thinking (takde lyrics..tapi jiwangz gila)

have a good weekend everyone...I'm going to try have a good one too. despite a looming MBA discussion coming up, on which I haven't started doing anything yet.

hospital update: lepas 2 hari i tried calling the hematology clinic to reschedule my appointment because I couldn't make it this week, I finally got a date, on Valentine's Day. Imagine that. Not that I usually do anything special for valentine's, but if i'm not mistaken, this was how I spent 14th February last year too. date with the docs. boohoo. hehee..takpe lah. all the fancy restaurants would be full anyway..hihihi.

**ps: yup i really have got time to kill with all the blogging. :-) am at KLIA waiting for my flight out. ciao cincau!

Need...sleep...

Two nights.
Emotional in an empty hotel room.
Grey's anatomy.
Heroes.
Tired.
Can't wait.
Hihi..

bintulu

bintulu, originally uploaded by nadi0.

the dullness of Bintulu is further reinforced with this boring landscape shot. I don't even know whether that brown area on the horizon is the sea or just a big land of mud.

kekeke..jangan marah ok orang Bintulu.

When feeling down..

I've probably written something like this before. Anyway.

When feeling down, it helps to have friends in other countries to entertain you. It also helps to not have to worry too much about money coz it allows you to make decisions within a short timeframe.

Am now at the airport to go to work in another state. When I get back here i'm off to clear my head. Hmm..i'm just going to start right now.

I'm a farkin' idiot.

**afterthought @ 4PM

And I've come to realize that i'm a selfish one too.

Sometimes when you are faced with a problem, it's easy to point a finger and blame another person. But if you take a step back, you will realize that the only person to blame is yourself. You will feel better when you take this standpoint, because by nature, we humans are more forgiving to ourselves, rather than towards other people whom we "think" are deliberately messing with our lives. And to realize that people, in general, do not usually hurt each other on purpose. There must be a cause for it, unless you are unfortunate enough to stumble upon the occasional sadist.

geek talk

conversation with a friend i had today. private joke, i know...but to us it was damned funny.

friend: hehehe same thing been goin on. mcm incident lifecycle. hehehe
nadio: aha...should i raise a problem record?
friend: yes u shud. if u are the problem manager. it all depends on the problem manager
nadio: yup...tapi tak cukup manpower laaaa (alasan normal)
friend: hahahah
nadio: betul lah. rasa nye asik restore service as soon as possible je..tak analyse root cause
friend: hahahahahaha. sbb tu la, asik work around je. tak raise rfc...raise la rfc
nadio: yepppp
friend: pi change management
nadio: kadang2 dah raise rfc, dah approve, tapi kena invoke backout procedures..sebab change implementation fail
friend: laaaaaaa...tu change management tak btol..silap! change ngan release management kene work together
nadio: yupppp...main taram je. takde impact analysis.
friend: btoll..payah la ini mcm
nadio: ni dah tak comform tu ITIL best practices ni...bahaya, causing instability in the live environment
friend: hahahahahahah
nadio: ok. trending analysis dah buat...tapi tak take any action...
there's no room for continuous improvement
in order to reach CMM level 4, it is important to provide room for continuous improvement
friend: hahaha
nadio: teheeee
friend: busan ah nad
nadio: i nak post conversation ni dalam blog i boleh tak
friend: hahahaha boleh. caya
nadio: kewl gila

suf·fo·cate

v. suf·fo·cat·ed, suf·fo·cat·ing, suf·fo·cates

v. tr.

1. To kill or destroy by preventing access of air or oxygen.
2. To impair the respiration of; asphyxiate.
3. To cause discomfort to by or as if by cutting off the supply of fresh air.
4. To suppress the development, imagination, or creativity of; stifle: "The rigid formality of the place suffocated her" (Thackeray).

v. intr.

1. To die from lack of air or oxygen; be asphyxiated.
2. To feel discomfort from lack of fresh air.
3. To become or feel suppressed; be stifled.

American Heritage Dictionary

sometimes passion just ain't enough...

sometimes the passion for photography needs to be supplemented with expensive equipment. I was told that Ken Rockwell believes that this is the best convenience lens yet.

eyeing a Nikkor 18-200mm VR lens.

hope i get it!

feeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll......

Queueing for 1 dollar SD cards

Am at the launch of the digital mall in PJ. Arrived at 10am sharp and there was already a massive queue waiting to get in. The minister arrived at around 10.30am. Yada yada yada It's now already 11.40am, and we're still waiting for the lion dance to finish. Do the mall owners really believe that this crowd is here to see the lion dance and some hong kong star? Please la...just let us in!! I just want to grab some cheap geek stuff and go...argh!

**update:
i was pushed, shoved and stepped on while inside. it was pure madness. gave up, looked around for a bit, and bought a stylus before i left. it would have been damn good if i managed to get that 1 dollar pixma printer, though. hahaha.

on a separate note, i'm excited about my banana boat's facelift. went to see the bodykits just now, dayyeemmm it's gonna look so pretty! wooohoo!

The smallest things

was having a chat on the phone with a troubled friend just now, and it occurred to me that:

When you love and care about a person with all your heart, the smallest act that the person makes towards you, good or bad, intentional or not, can move a mountain of your emotions.

The antidote for that, my friend, is to evaluate whether it is worth the emotional turmoil you are being put through. If the answer is Yes, then, by all means, have some trust and hope for the best. If your answer is No, then I say...run as far away as you can, and never come back. Or at least just run as far as you can, because from that distance you will realize that you don't want to go back to where you came from anyway.

oops..have i caught the Bloginson Syndrome? macam active la pulak... :-)

mad about GPS

I've just discovered GPS on my mobile, and it rocks! nak pegi 7-Eleven pun pakai GPS. hihihi...

Latitude 3º 07’49” N
Longitude 101º 38’22” E
Altitude 177.0m above Sea Level

awesome stuff.

random irritations without substance

T referred me to Hannah Tan's website today, and I got mega-confused. What is she selling actually? Her talent, her body or is it ultimately, her brand? Wtf is a T-shake? Basic t-shakes and gentle t-shakes? Do people actually do this because of her? If you were to do a t-shake, what would you do it for? The site claims that she created the t-phenomena? Why am I not part of this phenomenon, if it really is a phenomenon? Why don't I see my little cousins, uncles and aunties and friends around me doing the t-shake? Am i really out of it?

I'll show you a new shake. It's called an f-shake.
Step 1: form a fist
Step 2: point it to your target audience as if you're going to punch them
Step 3: lift the middle finger, and shake your hand back and forth

hihihi....ok i'm just jealous coz Hannah Tan is damn hot. Sorry Tan!

On a separate note...lately with the floods in Johor and the launch of Visit Malaysia Year 2007, I hear a lot of people making comments about our Prime Minister's decision making skills. About how the government spends money on the Eye on Malaysia and those daily fireworks, while there are people suffering down south. I've always had a feeling that those comments were not justified, I just couldn't point out why. It came to me this morning. OK, the flood just came, and the plans for the tourism thing must have been in the pipeline for months before that. Do we expect the Prime Minister to stop all the plans because Johor was flooded? My view may be simplistic, but the country is not run by 1 person. That's why we have ministries, and offices that take care of different aspects of the country's development. Satu jaga tourism, satu jaga kebajikan, etc etc. If you were the big boss of a company, and you stop one big project because another project is in trouble, how do you think your project managers would feel? That all their efforts and plans have gone to waste, perhaps?

ok apa aku membebel ni. hari ni macam hari tak puas hati. hehehe..

ciao.

Selamat Awal Muharram.

WindowsXP shopping

got a list of UK winter sale links from my bro today. spent almost 3 hours online shopping, started with next.co.uk, lasenza.co.uk, urbanoutfitters.co.uk, asos.co.uk, hairhq.co.uk, and lots more. in and out i went of the sites, checking out cheap stuff i could waste my money on.

found a belt here, a handbag there, and clothes everywhere. biasa lah perempuan shopping, in the end didn't buy a damn thing. hehehe...am now at argos.co.uk checking out gadgets.

God bless the Internet.

On humans, needs and desires

My fascination with humanistic theories continues. I think Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a brilliant theory...Was scouring the net for my MBA assignment, and came across this piece of writing by John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods Market.

"When we are small children we are egocentric, concerned only about our own needs and desires. As we mature, we grow beyond this egocentrism and begin to care about others—our families, friends, communities, and countries. Our capacity to love can expand even further, to loving people from different races, religions, and countries—potentially to unlimited love for all people and even for other sentient creatures. This is our potential as human beings, to take joy in the flourishing of people everywhere."

I don't know much

Look at this face
I know the years are showing
Look at this life
I still don't know where it's going

I don't know much
But I know I love you
And that may be all I need to know

Aaaargh!!

Is it just me, or was google down tonight? Time orang nak buat research ni la dia nak down!

Am panicking. Draft group project due thursday night and I haven't done anything. Zero. Nil.

Can't get Radzlan's Work on Sundays out of my stinkin head. "lalala..u gotta give it up..u gonna lose your mind, if u wanna keep it up.." no idea what he's singing. Kekeke

Au revoir mes amies.
Sweet dreams.

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Langston Hughes (1902 - 1967)

Because getting what you want always starts with a dream. Speaking of dreams...the nightmare starts today. Will be busy in all aspects of life.

Argh.

Survey

doing a survey for an MBA assignment..hopefully i get some people reading my blog in the weekends. hehe...tolong la isi...ok! thanks.

dusk in KL

Sesekali balik lambat...

taken with my iPaq. man, at a time like this i wish i still had the Nokia 6600.

The heart, and the head

Why is that, despite being parts of the same person, the heart and the head act like two very different entities? The head yaks and yaks about what should be done...but the heart, ahh...it always turns around and does the opposite thing. Whatever makes it happiest, even for a moment. And the head keeps nagging, trying to inject some sense in the heart. Sometimes the head gives in, and follows the heart where it wants to go.

Ikut hati, mati
Ikut rasa, binasa
Ikut otak, botak.

p/s: for the first time in my life, I learned today that I am an inspiration to someone, in ways other than my fight with the previous illness. It felt wonderful.

Butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of wonderful. :-)

Barbie Cake!

Barbie Cake!, originally uploaded by nadi0.

what a long day.

1 drama.
2 birthday parties back to back. one 33 year old man, next a 2 year old princess.
1 IT support trip.
2 house visits

and i'm still up...wishing i had a birthday cake like this when i was 2.

happy birthday, arina darling!

p/s to the girls: photos will be uploaded post processing..will sms u when i do!

Bananarama - Love in the First Degree

dancer at a prom, originally uploaded by nadi0.

breakdancer, originally uploaded by nadi0.

not that the pictures have anything to do with the bananarama song...hehehe.

Two weeks in a row listening to Shanon's version of Love in the First Degree, now i can't get the tune out of my head! argh!

"..Baby only you can set me free
Coz I'm guilty
Guilty as I can be...
Come on baby can't you see
I stand accused of love in the first degree
Guilty..of love in the first degree.."

jiwangz karatz tahapz dewa - bak kata orang2 melayu di alam virtualz.

haha pt2

Life made another funny turn today while the previous turn was not over yet. This time i was half-expecting for the turn to happen, so it's ok lah.

It's interesting how the mind works. How the problems you're facing become bigger or smaller as your life gets simpler or more complicated.

Say, when you are generally happy, your biggest problem would be deciding where to eat, or your evil boss.

Or, when you've got problems in your head, and suddenly you're faced with something life-threatening, every other problem shrinks to the size of an atom, because now your only goal is to stay alive.

going out to find some lunch.

Ciao!

ps: no pictures la after new year. i'm taking a break until i find some inspiration.

haha

Life.

It makes funny turns when you least expect it, don't you think?

To keep too much of a watchful eye, you'll drown yourself in worry, and take away the joy. To live carefree, you run the risk of getting hurt along the way. Or the risk of getting some people asking you to be professional in a situation that is absolutely out of context. You all know my pet peeve, spelling and grammatical errors, and irrelevant word usage in sentences. Hihihi...

But that's life. You live and learn, and your life will be shaped by the way you react to those random situations in life. :-)

Happy new year! (eh i wished already kan...nevermind...there you go again)

Mad About Fireworks

Mad About Fireworks, originally uploaded by nadi0.

i'm sure there'll be loads of these showcased on the net soon....i got 12 more like these on my flickr. Was going to upload 38 shots, but I decided against it. Nanti la when fotopages is fast again. Gave up on fotopages for now...too damned slow.

This time last year, I was smiling on the outside, raging inside.
This time, I want to be smiling inside, outside, left and right.

Here's to a happy new year!

Cheers, everyone!