Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hospital update - The one about the Hotshot doc

Man...new doctor for me today. The doc had a nasal voice, and spoke english in a funny way. I didn't like the way the doc told me, "well...your other counts are ok, but I don't like your white cell count. I donch wants to scare you or anything, but it could be a relapse you know. Now, you have two choices.you could do a bone marrow test, or you could come backs in a month and do another blood count. If I were you, i'd go for the bone marrow."

Suffice to say, that doc instantly made me uncomfortable. It must be the air of arrogance that was so strong inside the room that repelled me. Naturally, I asked where my doctors were; and the answer was, "Well, you better get used to it, because not all your previous doctors will be here forever you know. Plus we all here work as a team. Which is why I have to flips through your notebook here to see what has happened. So, tell me, why did the Doctors decide to inject you with your brother's lymphocytes last time?" haha...iyolah tu teamwork..

Wtf? Rasa nak terajang. Doctors have delivered me many bad news before...but never before they are certain. Never before they have numbers and lab reports before their eyes. And when they do, it never makes me feel angry. Sad, yes. But never angry. But this particular hot shot, yah, made me angry. Uncomfortable.

Well, I hope the low white cell count is only caused by my not feeling well yesterday, not due to a relapse. Hope the bone marrow biopsy will be OK..as the doc said, "Well, I donch want to waits too long..in case it somethings." yup..sempat lagi nak mengutuk. Hahaha..

WBC 2.3 - Lymphocytes 1.3
HB 12.2
Platelets 153,000

Anyway, I guess this is another reminder that we humans won't live forever, much as we want to. We hide our feelings, we suppress our emotions, we procrastinate, we forget to pray, we take things for granted. I say, from now on, everybody should seize their days, because you'll never know when you won't be around anymore. Tell the people who you care about that you love them, tell that crush how you feel, thank God for the blessings you have around you. And then, if you have the money, go out and buy that luxe item that you've been wanting all this while..be it an expensive designer handbag or a pro lens.

ala...like the Ronan Keating song tu...it goes like this"
if tomorrow never comes...
did i say how much i love you...
did i buy the lens i want..
that i thought of everyday
and dreamed of every night....
if tomorrow never comes...

Gotta get some vitamins now. Tata.