No Black Tie

Reza Salleh, originally uploaded by nadi0.

had nothing to do over the weekend, so I went. Shanon and Reza were as usual, awesome!

more photos available on my fotopages.

moody teddy

moody teddy, originally uploaded by nadi0.

what do you do when the Internet is slow?

find other projects to do...

like taking pictures of a teddy bear in a bad mood.

have a good long weekend!

to the shutterbugs...

i had too many photos on my hard disk, so one day i thought maybe i should try selling them. on my online searches, i found Shutterstock.com. They have a referral program...so if you guys want to sell your photos..you can try and check this out. Shutterstock.com pays u 25 cents for every photo downloaded.

too bad la paypal don't pay direct to Malaysian banks..so everytime I get paid, i will have to pay my bank the fee to cash a foreign cheque. doesn't hurt to try lah.

i can't wait to make my first 25 cents. hehehe...

if u all berminat...use la my referral code k.

check it out la...

happy shooting!

Seafood

all that food, just for two people. tamak gila tak ingat dunia.

Somehow the visit to my new apartment in PJ became a trip to Bagan Lalang..dunno how! for a few more pics, check out my flickr.

in action

in action, originally uploaded by nadi0.

Spent Monday and Wednesday night shooting barely 18 boys and girls at their proms...hence the lack of updates..hehe. Just went with my D50 with 50mm lens attached, and a tissue wrapped around my kit flash. Tak payah nak spend hundreds on a speedlight...hehe.

Can't release pictures of sexy girls and suited up boys...so there u go, a silhouette of T in action, dengan speedlight mahal dia.

Reunited...and it feels so good

After a 10 day trial separation, I was finally reunited with the banana boat. And for the first time in months, I was smiling when i took it on the highway. Fast and smooth, it no longer feels like it's going to drop dead in the middle of the road. Still a bit traumatized from the events of the last few months, i drove with a bit of reservation. Every time i slowed down and hit the clutch, I half expected that it would die, but it didn't. The alignment was readjusted, and i no longer have to hold the steering wheel to prevent it from going to the left.

I realize that I've missed it, a whole lot. Nevermind the fact that the body looks like it seriously need a respray, with those grey spots here and there.

I love it.

Thanks to baibon and sze who convinced not to give up.

:-)

ps: still have to do some funny manouver with the ignition, until i get the spare part.

The Leaning Tower of KL

The Leaning Tower of KL, originally uploaded by nadio.

Caught in the jam....

Au Revoir, Your Royal Chai-ness

Had a farewell party for the office diva today.

A change for him, a big loss to us.

Good luck man!

la lune

i had nothing better to do, so i captured 20 shots of the moon, and this was my best one.

ahahahaha

I took the long way to get to class today. Was already 10 minutes late when my classmate called me. I had just parked my car.

Mate: oi where are you?
Me: I just parked. Whatsup?
Mate: well, there are only two people in the class right now, and Dr A is really angry.
Me: well, yeah ok..i'm already here. See u soon, bye.

I'm now sitting in class waiting for the teacher, who apparently stormed out of the room a few minutes before I came.

Aha. Maybe now he will know how we feel when he finishes class an hour late. As the saying goes...do unto others etc etc. Show no respect for people's time, none will be shown to you. Learn to accept it je lah!!

Kekeke...padan muka is all I can say..

Potato PMS (Parsley, Mushroom, Spinach)

Garlic, mushrooms, chopped parsleys sauteed in olive oil
Add boiled Potatoes, wedged
Add spinach
Butter
Salt and pepper

Lin punya recipe.

Don't forget to put some salt when boiling the potatoes!

photos from the weekend

a lonely boat by the beach


a friend enjoying the sunset

baiki cermin kereta

i don't know why, but this banner hit a funny bone in me. hehehehehe...!

hmm...come to think of it, i laugh rather easily lately. maybe from too much sun last weekend.

could it be possible?

keh keh keh

Ahhhhhh...

Sometimes one needs to get away. A couple of good friends, a whole bunch of strangers who probably think i'm a weirdo with a camera. it's wonderful to be in a place so remote yet so self-sufficient, where you need not worry about chasing time. all your problems get blown away by the winds from the sea, and you only think about what to eat, then sleep, compose pictures in your head, and try your best to make those shots.

This is the most relaxed, rested and content i've felt in a few months. On the way back from dinner, I reminicsed about the last happiest moment I had - a few months ago in a car that was too small to fit five people. Everybody in the car was talking at the same time, when he looked across at me and mouthed "I love you." I just looked back and smiled, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. :-)

heh. will post some not-so-brilliant photos soon!

Property Matters

I bought an apartment about 4 years ago.

It's finally ready, after about a 630-day delay from the promised delivery date.

So I called the office to arrange for key collection...and guess what?

The officer asked me whether I know the amount that I will be compensated. I said, sure, it's whatever that was stated in the S&P, right?

Wrong.

She quoted me a number. It was about half of what I calculated based on the S&P.

Well, she was nice and all, and told me that if wish not to accept that offer, I can write a letter to so and so, the boss of her department. So I said OK, i will write the letter.

I asked her, "How can your company give just 50% of the agreed amount? Do you think that's fair? Coz I feel cheated!"

She said, "Well, that is what the company can afford to compensate."

Can afford? Can afford? Don't developers have any respect to legal agreements anymore? What is the extra money going to be used for? To maintain that big monster house on top of the hill in Damansara Perdana? Please. Give me a break.

I decided to purchase the unit because I trusted the developer's excellent reputation at the time. And the developer has failed me.

No need for me to mention the developer's name in here. We all know who that company is already. Blood-sucking bunch of monkeys.

3B - Banana Boat Berhantu

Yes widz, if u saw an ugly version of the Fiat, it must be mine. hahaha...I can't respray it right now coz it will destroy my cash flow. hehehe..

Anyway, i was parked somewhere in PJ last night while taking pictures by the roadside. When I finished, I thought I wouldn't be so poyo and decided to leave the camera inside the car before I go see my friends at the mamak.

I tried to lock the car, but I heard the spring go off, and the car didn't lock properly. I tried to turn the key again, on both doors, and the same thing happened.

So after 5 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to lock the car, I decided to just take the camera with me and leave the car unlocked. After taking the camera out, I tried to lock the car again, just in case. And guess what, IT WORKED!

Maybe the banana boat was trying to protect me. Dayemm the thing's got a soul, don't you think?!

(i love u darlinnggg) hehehe.

Panning memanning...

after standing for 15 minutes by the LDP, jadi jugak akhirnya... :-)

deer..or something

171 shots at the National Zoo, and I think this was my only good one. I wish there was more contrast between the deer and the background.

mari kita sama-sama laungkan...

...merdeka!!!

...merdeka!!!

...merdeka!!!

after almost 4 months of thinking about not much else other than ITIL ITIL ITIL, i finally finished the 2nd paper today. it wasn't bad. in fact it was easier than the 1st paper. I walked out with a smile, silently praying for a pass.

now I wait. for the results.

if I get distinctions for both papers, i will buy everybody on the floor a cake. hehe...

what now?

finishing my long overdue MBA. the class last night was as expected, lots of work. I must say, for an instructor who claims to be a marketing specialist, he doesn't market his class very well. 4 students registered. 2 iranian ladies, a russian boy and myself. russian boy kinda cute (lari topic sekejap). and one of the first few things he said in class was, "make sure you don't make dates with your boyfriend or girlfriend on Monday nights because my classes end well beyond 9.30pm."

whatever laa dude...nyampah aku.

and for a guy who seems to portray himself as a perfectionist, he sure got spelling mistakes all over his slides. come on man, "paragraph" is not spelled as "paragrapg" and "journal" is not spelled as "jouranl"!!! kerja orang nak quality, kerja sendiri check dulu lah woi..ugh..10 points or nothing konon. blah lah. and then he said to me, "you think you're so smart, right?" maybe i am smart. so?

hehe sorry. emo sikit. i get a bit emotional when i see spelling errors. especially when they are splashed all over presentation slides. sheesh!!

here's one I found while sifting through the slides:
"How would you suggest Internet baking as a solution to the consumer problem?"

Internet baking? Internet baking????

i am sooo going to fix all those errors before i print the slides out.

ok la. relax first tonight. PS2 time! tata!

backyard safari

i found myself doing a backyard safari at my grandparents' house during the long raya break.

a hungry cat we call Milo, and a giant baby biawak.

yawn

i am tired

- less than 24 hours till my ITIL thang is over and done with.
- what to do after i finish tomorrow.
- where did i put my D50 eh?
- this library is the worst library on the planet.
- shit the marketing class is in 20 minutes.
- i better go.

ta! wish me luck.

argh pt 3

i was driving back from cyberjaya (yes, to fill up the form) and these thoughts were in my mind:

- when I could get the keropok lekor from Lan
- SLM terms and their meanings: service catalog, service level agreements, SL requirements, etc etc
- expanded incident lifecycle
- my mba class which is resuming on Monday
- if i'll ever be able to reach Cyberjaya by 6pm every monday and thursday
- T and myself and the whole situation we're both in at the mo'
- what to have for dinner
- maybe i should head back to KLCC and have dinner with some friends
- if i'll ever manage to study tonight, and keep my hands off the PS2 controller
- if i passed the Service Support paper last two weeks

when suddenly the mobile phone rang. i looked down for a split second to see who's calling when

BAMMMM!!!!!!

i knocked the car in front of me.

nice one Nadd. reaaaal nice.

now the banana boat looks like a rotten banana.

I'm ok though. The proton saga i hit went off unscathed.

maybe i shouldn't kutuk the banana boat so much. (i luv u darling..hehehe)

argh pt 2

dang.

I have to go all the way to Cyberjaya tomorrow to fill in an add/drop form at a certain school's MBA center.

The officer emailed me to ask me to come over and fill in the form.

I told her to email the soft copy to me so I can fill it up and fax it to them...since driving to Cyberjaya to fill in a form is a bit moronic from my point of view.

She said, sorry..they don't have a soft copy of the form.

ok...what kind of university calls itself the Multimedia University and do not have the soft copy of a form?? now registering for my classes will cost me about 25 bucks for gas and 1 hour on the road instead of 0 cent and 5 minutes of my time.

talk about cost inefficiency. bargh.

argh

sometimes u get yourself stuck between two people who have such strong feelings towards each other.

when another person's smallest words or actions give you such strong, uncontrollable reactions, could it mean that love is still in the air?

because to me, i can keep denying my feelings. but for as long as i care about every single detail that is happening in the ex's life, i am not over him. for as long as i want to find out how he feels, i am not over him. for as long as i take everything he does personally for or against me, i am not over him.

how the hell did i get stuck here? I am supposed to be learning about ITIL stuff, and I'm nowhere near ready at this point...and the exam is on Tuesday.

argh dah dah dah....!

letting go of burdens

sometimes i think just because i managed to overcome leukemia, I can get everything to go my way. hihi

this sounds so familiar. have i written about this before? if i have, too bad.

one example is my banana boat. it's my favourite car in the world. when i found out that i could actually afford it, i saved up for a year so i could afford the downpayment. when the money was enough...i went and got the car.

it gave me problems the first day i drove it. once that got sorted, i was really happy with it for quite some time. then it started breaking down again here and there. and i continued to put my effort and money into making the car work again.

it will work for a couple of months, then i'll face another problem. this year it became more unstable, going into the workshop almost every month. i never really complained, i told myself that i love this car...i'm going to make it work unless one day the money becomes a major constrain.

but lately the unreliability of the car has started to bother me more. i drive it around constantly wondering if it will break again soon. people tell me to just sell it and get a new one, but i entertain that idea with a heavy heart. i love that car. it's what i've always wanted...i reply to all my friends.

i have a feeling the car is going to disappoint me again soon. and i'll continue giving it what it needs, like a possessed lover.

wait...

the car can't disappoint me.

I disappoint myself with my choices.

Maybe one day i will come to my senses.

a song dedicated to my banana boat...taken from Radzlan's Smelly Pillow Ballad.
"lucky i'm lucky...to have met you...
maybe just maybe...you know it tooooo..!

someday...i'll drive you up into the ocean,
then would you believe in me...?"

hahaha.

Crazy Salesguy at Camera Shop

Was at a camera shop in DU on raya eve, looking for a UV filter for my zoom lens. Then I saw the SB800.

I asked him how much for the SB800 speedlight...knowing the market rate is plus minus RM1300.

He said, RM740.

I said, "What? Really?" and caught myself. I tested him. How about RM700 for the filter AND the SB800?

He said, "aah can can.."

I said, "ok...i'll go to the bank to take out some money. u wait ahh"

As i was leaving, he chased me, he said, "Miss..soli...it's not RM740, it's actually RM 1040"

I said, "Ok..RM1000 for the filter AND SB800"

He said OK. I went to the bank and came back.

I tested him again, "My friend said RM1000 expensive la. RM850 can ah?"

He said, "aaa can can.."

Was this dude for real?

So i said, OK lah....pack it up boyy! I couldn't believe my luck. heeheehee..

Then he took the flash from the display cabinet, and informed me, as if our conversation in the past 15 minutes never happened, "ok miss, RM1599."

Nevermind the fact that the RM80 Hoya filter i came in for turned out to be out of stock and he showed me an RM40 alternative which he said was more expensive. (???)

When I reminded him what he agreed with me, he pursuaded me to pay using my credit card.

I told him to stop wasting other people's time and walked out empty handed. No flash, no filter. Just a wad of cash that ended up back in the bank.

He got a good scolding from him supervisor who profusely apologized to me.

aaah well. it was too good to be true anyway. haha.

Selamat Hari Raya, Crazy Salesguy!

Louis II

Test shot with a Nikon D80 and SB800 speedlight. Puas ati...

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin from Nadio.

btw, the paper i sat for last Tuesday was tough as hell. argh!

Sleepers

The future lay sparkling ahead...

...and we thought we would know each other forever.

Paper 1: Service Support

I.am.a.nervous.wreck.

I'm aiming for a distinction.

My brain is saturated with info that I'm not even sure I can recall when the time comes.
- KPIs and why
- possible challenges and how to overcome them
- issues to consider when planning for implementation
- process benefits, costs and possible problems
- process relationships

My biggest scare is that I give the perfect answer to the wrong question. Argggh!

I can't wait for this to be over.

Bonne chance, moi!

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

I was knee deep in sample examinations, process benefits, costs and possible problems when suddenly this song by Don Henley and Patti Smyth started playing in my head. And now i can't stop singing the tune despite how sad it sounds to me. Hopefully this tune will help when i get stuck answering the Service Support questions next Tuesday. Due to the lack of anything to write, i'll just copy and paste the lyrics to the song here. hehehe....sedih beb lagu ni! Dang...karaoke best jugak ni..hihi

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
- Don Henley & Patti Smyth

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you, I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore..
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust..
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are,
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you,
Baby, you don't have to take the fall,
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you..
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain..
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone,
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed?
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch,
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are,
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough..

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

Honey Cornflakes

I got tired of reading about Capacity Management and decided to make some of these. The first batch burnt but through continuous improvement, the subsequent batches got better and better.

:-)

My Thumb

This is my thumb. Ugly, innit?

I've had that rough patch for years, and I never really manage to let it heal properly. I pick and bite in an attempt to make it smoother, but I never succeed. Once in a blue moon I get the discipline to put on some lotion and gloves to let it heal. Then when it's about to heal, I get the itch to start picking on it again, and I'm back where I started - ugly, semi-bleeding thumb. And I tell myself, "nevermind, i'll just start again tomorrow." It's a really bad habit I haven't been able to kick out of my system for many years.

I am fully aware that I have to stop doing this to myself. I need to just let the dead cells form that thick crust on the rough patch so that it can fall off one day and reveal the beautiful, healed skin. But for me, waiting for it to heal is the most difficult thing to do.

I hope someday soon I will realize that leaving it be is the fastest way to make it better.

Moral of the story:
Sometimes it is much better to leave things as they are, rather than try to mess with them and make the situation worse.

Balada Bantal Busuk

dang...i can't get Lan's "Smelly Pillow Ballad" tune out of my head...! I really have no idea what he's singing about but the music sounds just so damn catchy. I believe i can sing it better though, but nevermind that. hihi

Watch out guys...this song is going to be a hit when it comes out. Not in a few months though..i got a copy coz i'm so nice to him.

Anyway, i came across Disaster yesterday. Disaster looked in fact, disastrous. Apart from losing my appetite, i think i did well facing it. Selamat Hari Raya, Disaster, and Maaf Zahir & Batin.

blog surfing last night...i saw a lot of postings about people who are having relationship issues. I also know a friend of mine who is in love with a person who can't seem to let go of the past, but at the same time doesn't seem to want to let go of the present. Tough shit my friend...good luck is all I can say.

Hep C update:
people have been asking what's up...i went to discuss with the gastro guy yesterday, and he said just because they detected the antibody it doesn't mean that I have the virus. So we have to run more tests to find out the details. This will be the last of my Hep C updates on this blog. Everything else will remain private. Thanks for the concern and well wishes, though. :-)

Ok. selamat berbuka!

Gastroente...blargh

Ok lemme try again.

I'm now at the hospital's Consultant Gastroenterologist's clinic to check my liver. G.A.S.T.R.O.E.N.T.E.R.O.L.O.G.I.S.T.

The biopsy on tuesday was as usual. Don't remember a thing other than the sedative injection and waking up with a somewhat sore back.

Core Resource Against Cancer

Donate your CPU power to find the cure against cancer!

Basically, your PC processer is used to generate all the permutations possible of human protein strands and its effect by the drug. If there's a match, then it's like a "hit". Then the drug component will be shortlisted for further testing...and hopefully they'll find the cure for cancer.

Join the team my friend created. It's called "Core Resource Against Cancer." Click here to join and find out more.

The IBM team has 1,500 members... and about 11,000 years of CPU calculation...cool kan?

My Heart

Well call me a softie but that song My Heart that's always playing on the radio is just so damn jiwang.

"...bila kita mencintai yang lain,
Mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar,
Sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah,
Sayangku takkan hilang..."

Vocals not perfect, but the song...man..it makes me want to cry! Even worse, when I attempt to play it on the guitar, my eyes actually start to water..coz all the plucking really hurts my fingers. Heheheh. String murah kot...

Other things going on in my unglorious life:
- BMT this morning
- 15 more days to my certification exam...argh
- am now officially a fan of Radzlan. He plays at Giggers Art Café every Friday night. Catchy songs, untamed lyrics. He says chicks and dudes are all welcome! His gig details here & the cafe's details here.
- am thinking of opening a pet shop in my vicinity
- am thinking of a book title, after brother Kimster's suggestion
- am feeling a bit sick in the stomach after attempting to finish Syed's Nasi Bukhara

..if u love somebody would we be this strong...

Sambung jiwang...adios muchachos! i'll leave you with a glorious photo of the lobster mornay i had in Sydney..

food in thailand

Sempena bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini, nikmatilah gambar juadah2 yang telah kumakan di Bangkok tempoh hari.

top left to right: Lobster, steamed fish, lobster
bottom left to right: fried eggs, honey roasted coconut, onion rings



hehe.

Ramadhan 1

1 down, 29 to go.

malam musika

went to see some friends perform at a café in Old Klang Road just now.

Lan played a few songs which turned out to be really
good...particularly his new one called 'Down the Drain.' Very the
fehlong....!

That open mic stuff really took my mind off things that are bothering me.

aaaiiight. heven't eaten since lunch...am gonna stuff my stomach now.

have a good weekend & selamat berpuase!

T.I.R.E.D.

One missed flight.

One long journey.

Two 2-hour long sessions, standing and talking.

One rushed journey back home.

I'm ready for the more subdued hours of Ramadhan.

Selamat berpuasa to all my muslim friends yang berpuasa. heh.


no more ERL for a while please!

buggeration

failed my Service Delivery mock exam from last month. 42% is pretty bad compared to last time.

no more wasting time after this. gotta crank it up within the next 6 weeks. argh!

aiight i'm off to go take pictures before i leave this city. I'll try out your suggestion kich.

Bangkok here i come!

Last trip.

Got my D50 with me this time. Must find time to take photos.

Hospital update: last visit counts were normal, but my hepatitis C screening came back positive. Have gone for repeat tests at the hospital and a private clinic. I hope they come back negative. If yes, it must be from the blood transfusions I got post-transplant. argh! Isn't the blood bank supposed to screen all the donor blood before transfusing to a patient??!!

I've lost that feeling...

...of satisfaction when you get that perfect contact of the club hitting the ball.

I'm talking about golf lah.

5 weeks ago everything was fine and dandy. I felt almost ready to go the green, now I have to start over. Darnit.

Two days and I still couldn't get my swing right. Must try again tomorrow.

Kenangan Terindah

lagu fevret gue buat masa ini...

bila yang tertulis untukku
adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan kujadikan kau kenangan
yang terindah dalam hidupku

namun takkan mudah bagiku
meninggalkan jejak hidupku
yang telah terukir abadi
sebagai kenangan yang...terindah

- Samson, Kenangan Terindah

Checkup tomorrow morning...hope all is good.

photos from Sydney

The bridge at night. More photos at my fotopages.

There's something about Sydney, that I find very calming. Maybe it's the water that surrounds the city.

C'est la vie

They say the Sydney Opera House was designed based on the sails of the ships that went through the Sydney Harbour.

I was drowning in a stormy sea and a ship came by to save me. In that ship, there was an angel who showed me a calmer part of the ocean. It felt good. Until the angel decided it was time it helped another drowning soul.

So, away goes the ship, angel and all. That ship has sailed.

C'est la vie, the French would say, no?

Some pictures i took of the Opera House with my D50. The bottom pic was a test shot using my 70-300mm lens. No cropping business this time. :-)

personal space theory

I'm not a very big fan of crowds and noise. I get edgy when people stand too close to me in a queue. I can't stand it when if going through items on the shop rack and someone suddenly stands too close. Even worse if they accidentally touch me.

I always experience this with people who hail from the highly populated areas of asia. Just a moment ago a lady put all her stuff next to me and started to organize her shopping bags. It's a 5ft long empty bench, why the heck wouldn't she go to other side?! I stared at her and she stared back. Wtf?! Go away, woman! Don't let your shopping bags touch me!

Well my theory is that people coming from densely populated areas don't understand the concept of personal space because they grew up never knowing it exists. That's why they never seem to mind going on tour in large groups, where their guides could wave the flags while shouting to get everyone together. Argh.

Am going to lunch at the fish market again. The 25 dollars should last me until i fly home tonight, if i'm really careful with it.

Cheers!

to my two friends...

a loss is only a loss if you are silly enough to let it go without even trying.

if you are both lying on your bedroom floor crying your eyeballs out, then it's a sign to work it out!

sydney update: conference ended today, checked out of the hotel-with-a-view, and checked into a smaller hotel, which is cheap and big enough for me to sleep and watch some tv.

have been walking around Circular Quay taking pictures of the bridge and the Opera House. syok gila now i'm armed with my D50 and a tripod! will post pictures at the end of the week.

cheers, mate.

it's cold

It's cold here.Just spending the nights taking pictures of the Darling Harbour from my hotel room.

I'm going to read my textbook now, since it's way overdue and the exam is about 40 days away, boohoo..!

Sydney...

is as before, wonderful.

It between conference sessions, I stand at the window and stare outside, admiring the weather.

Biasalah..orang putih suka panas, orang melayu suka sejuk. hahaha.

Got a tripod setup in my hotel room, which has an amazing view of Darling Harbour and the Bridge.

Ok lah. looking for dinner..hungry..!

tata mates.

amsterdam...and more

Le Meridien Apollo, Amsterdam - overlooking a canal

visit my fotopages for more.

croydon

From inside the train from East Croydon to Central London - at dusk

tashkent

The Tashkent International Transit Lounge Restaurant - it looks a bit like a high school dining room.

Hope...forgotten

You lose something
And you hope that you find it again someday.
Along the way, you learn to live without it.

Then, further along the way,
you realize that you never really needed that thing you lost.
When that glimmer of hope used to make you so nervous with anticipation,
remains just a glimmer of hope, flickering in the distance.

* Leaving London for home tomorrow night. And dreading it too. :-)

Will be posting pictures soon.

London

After a 24 hour door-to-door journey, I am now comfortably sitting on a sofa in London.

My flight stopped in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Tashkent was the weirdest place. The transit area was like a big old house. It had the atmosphere of the Kota Bahru airport almost 15 years ago.

The situation at the London Airport was not bad at all (for me at least). Me and Lan managed to get out within about 40 minutes from the time we landed.

Ok lah, am going to try to sleep my jet lag off.

Home!!

Finally back from Bangkok. Not that I hate that place, but it sucks to be alone in a strange land, especially for work. heheh.

I suspect Monday at work will be hell on earth. It's the one day I have to catch up before I fly off again.

Boo hoo.

ITSM

I have been receiving emails from whatis.com since 1999 I think, and I have never received anything relevant. And look what came in the mail today. ITSM.

It's like they know.

I'm a loser baby...

so why don't you kill me... - Beck

I got an award in class today for being "The only one that completed the homework on time."

hahaha...

note to all: I do have a life.

Financial Management

I was learning about charging yesterday, and we were talking about how charging for IT services can act as a demand management mechanism, which changes user behavior.

After incurring an enormous phone bill last month, I've decided to control that by purchasing a local prepaid number here. I thought, ok so now people can still call me and I won't have to pay that ridiculous amount. But since I've purchased the line, I have received zero calls, since people don't want to pay extra to call me international. I guess it's always expected for people to be more careful when it's their own money on the line instead of another person's. Behaviors change when money is involved, whether we like it or not. The sensitivity of that depends on how much money is involved, based on the different personalities we have in the world. Some people leave it until they foot a 600 dollar bill before they do anything, some are more prudent and take more preventive measures.

Let's calculate the total cost of me answering calls on roaming and on my local mobile:

Roaming
For me: RM 3.00/min (roaming charges)
For caller: RM 0.20/min (local rate)
Total: RM 3.20/min

Local
For me: Free
For caller: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min depending on what service is used
Total: RM 0.40 - RM 1.50/min

The cheaper option is obvious.

Apa aku membebel pagi2 ni. It's only 6.30 AM here...I'm up early because of the 1 hour difference.

Ok I better get ready to get to Dusit Thani.

La gorn kaa!

Bangkok Part Deux

Alone again in Bangkok. Checked into Centerpoint Saladaeng around 5.30pm. This room is much much better than Tower Inn last month. Even Internet is free, which is perfect for a geek like me. Went out for a bit to Silom Road to get my prepaid mobile topped up and some groceries.

I have a bad flu and cough. Probably from shaking too many hands last week. I think i'm going to take a nap now...though it's only 7.20PM here. Hopefully the flu goes by the time I wake up tomorrow.

This area is a bit dark to be roaming around alone at night, so I'll just stay in. I don't know what I'm going to do with two TVs in this apartment. heheh.

Get well soon, me!

La gorn kaa!

mon poisson est mort

oui.

it looked a bit smaller in the last few days. it wasn't swimming around happily as it usually does.

i came home today and it's lying at the bottom of the bowl.

poor fish.

Made in Thailand....

A night in Bangkok...from my last trip.

The First Wedding was a success, I think. It was a tad overbooked, but a success nevertheless.

Will be back in Bangkok on Sunday.

One Wedding and A Funeral

Two souls,
Shared a lifetime together.
Him bedridden for months,
and she spent her time caring for him.
Suddenly she went away,
leaving him sobbing on his bed.
Nothing we ever say will make it better for him.
We tell him to redha, but he just sobs even more.
All we can do is pray for him to be strong for his loss,
and remind him that it is all in God's fate that she had to go first.
The First Wedding will take place as scheduled,
a mother lost, a daughter gained.
And the world keeps spinning,
as we little beings struggle to deal with our emotions.

May Allah bless your soul, nenek.
Sabarlah atuk.

Al-fatihah.

home sweet home

arrived home on Saturday to a busy household buzzing with wedding activities. as soon as I stepped through the door, i felt like flying back to Bangkok so I could crawl under my blanket in my big, lonely hotel room. Am not a very big fan of Chaos.

anyway, 2 events down, 1 to go.

i still got a speech to write. dah start panic!

ta.

finito...!

For now. Will be back here again in 2 weeks' time to do the other module.

Went straight to Devarana Spa after my class was dismissed. Absolutely fabuloso, though it was a bit too much indulgence on my part (especially the credit card). But hey, I have to look decent for the First Wedding...which happens to be on Sunday morning. Walking along the polluted streets in Bangkok certainly isn't helping my skin condition. :-)

Am chilling (by myself, boohoo) at the Suan-Lum night bazaar. Attempted to walk around the maze of stalls and gave up after about 15 minutes. My Thai counterparts here say that this market is more organized than Chatuchak. Yeugh, I won't even bother doing the touristy Chatuchak bit tomorrow. Sounds to cumbersome and sweaty...just not my cup of tea. Plus who needs to buy more than two handbags and trinkets at one go? Certainly not me.

So I'm now waiting for my grilled squid at a nearby joint similar to Hartamas Square, while sipping on Thai iced tea. I guess here they just call it Iced Tea, hehe...but it tastes so bloody good. Am going for a second glass later. There's an awful band performing on stage, not worth listening to, but at least it's giving me something to look at.

Can't wait to get back home. Where on earth is my food now! I'm starving!!

La gorn kaa!

Continuous Improvement...

...my ass. My big, big, fat ass.

Seems that my mock exam grades are getting lower by the day. Started with a decent 16/20, then 13/20 and today...10/20! Bugger...It's quite obvious that the weaker the processes are in my real working environment, the less i understand it, and the less points i get when answering a question. Although my average is right smack on the Distinction cut-off of 65%, i think i'm already bordering on dangerous grounds. Passing rate is 50%, but i'm just want to be a super-kiasu and aim high.

OK enough exam talk. I've been in Bangkok for 5 days, and only today I managed to taste of the Thai tomyam. Maybe i went to the wrong restaurant. Should have expected that the food isn't superb when i see westerners eating there. I prefer Viccuda anytime compared to the bland Tom Yam i had just now. Although the prawn fried with onions and garlic was pretty awesome. mm...

Ok enough dilly-dallying. No more walking about wasting time for me tonight. Got a 3-hour mock exam tomorrow, so I better put some work into it. Wish me luck.

La gorn kaa!

homesick...

counting my days to go home. 3 more days.

i'm a geek. i'm at a cyber cafe reading Configuration Management stuff.

ick.

Made in Thailand

A picture I took while wandering around looking for dinner last night.

Class today was ok, i managed to do the mock questions pretty well. according to the instructor's grading level, with the score i got, i should be standing up there giving the training. Muhahahaha...cheeewah...eksyen gila!

Anyway, I was shopping around Patpong just now looking for those Thai pants (yang ikat2 belit2 tu), haggling with the vendor to sell them to me for BHT220 instead of BHT230. Then i realized i was haggling over RM1.00..shit. hahahha. Will not do that again tomorrow. But i think i'm done shopping here for the week.

Almost 10pm. need to get back, take a shower and scrub myself clean. Bangkok is one hell of a polluted city...yuck! I was at CentreWorld or something like that, and it was like a haze attack inside the building. I immediately ran for the Exit.

La gorn kaa!

Bangkok Day 1

Training ok. Nothing new other than formalizing what i've learned so far in real-life. Doing discussion work with a bunch of Thais are most frustrating. Yea...carry on...speak in your own language. Don't worry about me who can't understand a single word that's being said, except for Kap khun, sawatdee and chai, chai (yes). Ugh.

Bangkok is a total bore when you're on your own and when the training requires you to do reading and coursework at night.

When i get my masters certification...siap lah...Muahahhahaa....!

Tata..

Sawatdee kaa...

At the point i'm writing this, i'm having my dinner at the hotel sky restaurant. The seabass i'm attempting to finish could easily feed a family of four back home. I'm stuffing myself with coriander like nobody's business. Yummy!

Arrived in Bangkok around 5.30pm today, the first of a series of trips i have to make here over the next 3 months. My hotel room is too big for one person. It's nice, but there's a dingy quality about it. Cigarette stench from poor ventilation, condom packs (unopened laa...) etc. Hehe.

I start my training tomorrow morning at Dusit Thani. A whole week of it, on my way to becoming the Jedi master of ITIL.

OK, i'm going to finish my seabass and go back to my room to study the Bangkok map. Boy, am i missing T a whole lot. But i'm here to pursue my dreams (as a process consultant? haha..) so i better put my mind to it.

Will post pictures when i get back. If i can find the time to take any, that is.

La gorn kaa..!

Day +365

I just realized that today is my one year anniversary post transplant. Alhamdulillah.

I want to celebrate, but I'm stuck at home with no car (rosak lagi), reading my ITIL book. So I ordered dinner from Room Service Delivery and ate on my own in my room. But that was before i realized it's Day +365, so I guess that doesn't count. Maybe I'll celebrate when I'm by myself in Bangkok next week. Heh.

Thank you mama, ayah, brothers, doctors, family and friends. Sometimes people (a.k.a. me) dwell in the things they have lost that they forget that there are things around them that keep them going.

Times flies, doesn't it? Everybody at home is now too busy preparing for the First Wedding. Here's to good health, and another 365 days..yay!

Cheers!

Italia

Italia has won the Germany 2006 World Cup. Between nodding off and waking up again, I missed Zidane's headbutt. I'm extremely happy that Italy won, but not too extreme-lah, because it's not like i played. So chill lah..hehe.

Yahoo! The World Cup is finally over, so I think tomorrow we can expect the Hot.fm DJs to stop naming themselves after soccer players. Which means I can go back to listening to their annoying banter in the mornings...(lagu dia sedap!)

Btw, Zidane's penalty was absolutely awesome! And Inzaghi still looks hot as ever. hehe.

Ok la..nak tido sat. Cau.

Baby

Test shots of Baby, shot with a Nikon 50mm f/1.8D lens. huhuuu!



for more test shots, visit my fotopages.

The First Wedding

We are ramping up the activities as the date closes in. Not that I get myself involved that much. It's the first wedding for my mum, and all i'm worried about is what i'm going to wear. Bwahaha!

My little contribution consist of preparing dad's speech and my own. I used to be good at writing emo speeches. I think i've lost my mojo. Need to interview the groom a.s.a.p.

Things are well, healthwise. I can't seem to stop munching on junk food these days. Gotta stay slim for The First Wedding. Measurements have been taken...can't afford to have fat bulging out of my baju during the function(s).

Why am I sounding like a shallow biarch?

Perhaps because I've been worrying all afternoon about how much I will get charged by my mechanic this time. I shouldn't have told the mechanic to "service the banana boat, and fix whatever that needs to be fixed." I hope he heard me adding at the end, "if anything gets too expensive call me first."

Or perhaps it's because I'm going through something so exciting right now but i can't really share, so I divert to silly wishy washy stories like the wedding and my car. Everything's fine, don't worry. :-) Life is fine, work is fine, health is fine.

Ciao. My ride home is here.

ps: can somebody call Fifa and ask whether they could have the ITA-GER game on Friday instead of Thursday? next day working day la...susah betul..heh.

Semi-Finale!

YAHOOOOOOOOO! ITALY MASUK SEMI!

over and out.

Baju Kurung Blues

I'm finally ready to go, after scouring my mother's and my own wardrobe for a baju kurung to wear to my boarding school friend's wedding.

Those big shoulder pads didn't seem much of a problem when I had long hair...but now they all make me look like a rugby player with a small head.

After half an hour, my mother brought out a pair that was folded. I tried it on, and although still a bit big, it is the best among the other ones i tried.

Yes, I'm wearing my baju kurung prep. To a boarding school mate's wedding. Hope nobody notices.

ta!

Craft Textile Exposition

I'm sitting in a ballroom in Shangri-La pretending to be interested in batik. I'd rather be at hartamas watching soccer.

I think this funny-smelling guy sitting next to me is Bernard Chandran with his wife.

ITA vs AUS

Gli Azzurri sono fortunati.

Felt a bit dorky before the game started, as T and me got out of our Italian ride in matching-matching Italia t-shirts. We looked positively poyo!! Before you start to gag, puke and bleed your brains out, the matching-matching bit was unplanned for, OK! I never...Hehe.

It was getting a bit too much for me as the Aussies continued attacking Italy throughout the game.

Anyway, went home during half-time and continued watching at home, half watching, half flipping through my book. Was just about to get something to drink in preparation for extra time when Grosso tripped and Italy won the penalty kick.

Ai finali quarti! Yayyy!

I can now sleep in peace. Buona notte.

Over and out.

Checkup Update

Everything's going pretty well, Alhamdulillah.

Blood counts normal. I have some skin dryness, and my liver enzymes shot up a bit. But my billirubin counts are normal, so the docs suspected that I just have a mild case of GVHD from the leukocyte infusion about a month ago. I have still one bag of donor leukocyte left at the blood bank, so they'll decide whether to infuse me around next month.

I'm 17 days away from being 1 year post transplant.

Should i have a party? hihi.

Wise words from M

There was a conversation I once had with M. She told me,

"Hate is not what you should be aiming for. You should aim for not caring. That should be your ultimate goal, because hate is never going to make you feel any good." (I rephrased to make it sound better. hehe)

I agreed, just because I'm not really a person who argues, but deep down I didn't believe her.

Until lately.

It's like you wake up one morning (or afternoon, in my case..hehe), and you realized you've shifted to another life. You have the same people in your little world, but now everybody affects you differently. The change scares you initially, but you move your step forward anyway, because it's the only way to go. Am i sounding like that book "Who Moved My Cheese" now?

And this change, in T's favourite words, "I like."

Doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hope everything will be fine.

Ciao.

gasless in KJ

Just finished going through a one hour hoo-ha with my banana boat. It couldn't start mid-way and it's all because i was too lazy. Heheh.

dear hot.fm

I'm driving home, listening to the DJ chatting on Hot.fm. Farah Ronaldo? Faizal Ballack? Tini Totti? AJ Schevchenko? Leya Ronaldinho??????

Yeurgh. Wassup with that? Get a life! Or am i the only one who is finding this totally lame?

Your loyal listener,
nadio inzaghi.

World Cup

Being a supporter of Italy since 1996 for all the wrong reasons, I've got my new Italian t-shirt on for the game tonight. As if it would make a difference. hehehee! I don't think i'll be up that late to watch the game anyway. I'll just find out who won tomorrow from the volunteer commentators in the workplace.

Go Azzurri!

Buona Notte mi amici.

Key Issues

My banana boat fell ill again. This time the key wouldn't do a full turn to start the car. It gets stuck halfway. There's a locksmith trying to assist me now, hopefully he'll be able to start the car so i can drive it out of this sauna-ish shopping mall basement. Argh!

Swing baby, swing!

got this from Mash today. Power lah...siap ada Figure 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. hehehe.

dream a little dream

it was like a week long dream.
a good one, I'd say.
a bit of variety in life,
a bit of laughter, a bit of happiness,
a dash of awkwardness here and there.
in the company of people who keep you smiling.
and bam! it ends.
it's like you woke up and realized
that none of them were real,
and you carry on with your monotonous life.

i'm rambling. not much of a poet.

ta.

fighting fish

Another one of my impulse purchases.

Sunset @ Sunway

random photos from the phone

it was one of those laid back weeks....watch out for Core Resources the band! hahaha

three parts of golf

i think i had excellent tutoring at the driving range yesterday, and i thought i should jot it down so i don't forget. heh.

course: tee box, fairway, green
modes: tee-off mode, approach mode, putting
club: club head, shaft, grip
swing: quarter swing, half swing, full swing
hitting the ball: hinge, lift, finish
posture: goalie ready position, defending a penalty, sit on your spine!
two practice swings, then hit the ball!

heh heh. i realized i was doing it all wrong before this.

i'm hooked. again.

animal safari

skipped the opportunity to golf with a pro this morning and decided to go to animal safari at the A Famosa Resort. Plan for Animal Safari did not work out since i overslept, so this was the closet I got to animals...a herd of cows crossing the road near Pekan Tampin. Boleh laaaah..

Pain and Pangya

about 6 years ago, i remember getting a phone call at work from an old friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend. apparently he found out the girl was cheating on him. or so I understood. the details are kind of fuzzy now. anyway, I remember him asking me, "do you know how it feels to wake up in the mornings and feel that pain in your chest? do you?" I told him I didn't, and tried my best to console him.

6 years have passed, and if he asked me that again now, I would be able to say to him, "Yes, I know how it feels."

But I would also be able to ask him, "And do you know how it feels to wake up one morning and realize that the pain is gone?" We'd both be able to agree with each other and say, "Yes, and it feels friggin' great."

On a totally separate note, damn Nuke for introducing me to Pangya Online Golf. I am totally addicted to it now..Argh!

DLI day

Woke up with a sore throat and slightly runny nose. Waiting to see the doc, but the DLI's been postponed to next week. Going back to work then.

...............

It's now 7.30 PM. It turns out the they've already taken out the lymphocytes, so the doctor decided to infuse the cells anyway. There were two bags for today. Just two small bags, if i'm not mistaken, 2.5 x 10⁷ cells in total. The infusion was painful! The doctor already told me to expect that since my veins are sensitive and the preservative solution for the cells can irritate the veins, making it painful. It still hurts now, along the vein line.

Was talking to the doctor about the bone marrow biopsy results, and he said he saw 1-2% blast cells in the marrow, but since it's 5%, i'm still considered in remission, Alhamdulillah. I'm a bit worried though, because in the previous bone marrow tests, no blast cells were present. Anyway the doctor concluded that it is just about the right time to infuse the white cells.

They injected phenagon first, it was supposed to make me drowsy i think. But i was awake the whole time they infused the cells, and fell asleep soon after they finished. Other than the pain, there were no complications and nothing special happened. (What did I expect, fireworks??? haha) So I went home around 2pm, slept some more, and woke up just recently. The doctor said, in about two weeks time I will perhaps get some GVHD, e.g. skin rashes, fever, diarrhea, etc.

So, that's the story! The cells are now inside, and there is no controlling what it will do to the body. Hope everything goes well in there!

Buy Buy Buy, and Never Read!

So, I'm going on a 1-book-a-week drive. It turns out that I was constantly buying books and borrowing from people, and most of the books sit on the shelf, some still in their plastic wrappers. Decided to take some action against myself when I found a Borders bag loaded with books I purchased many months ago, which I never got around to unpacking. I suppose it was part of the Kit for the BH regime I was following back then. Hahahaha.

Finished "Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern" which was excellent. Well, if you like the two-best-friends-falling-in-love kind of storyline. Only this time it took them about 45 years to finally get together. My rating - 4/5.

Moving on to a more serious book, The Bookseller of Kabul, recommended by Mar. I suppose I could do book reviews from time to time. But we'll see how it goes...i'm more of a going-with-the-flow kind of person (in other words "hangat2 tahi ayam").

heh.

Morphine

Morphine makes you do strange things.

I was on hourly morphine injections last year, and I created a blog. About the travels of a 50 Sen coin. I managed to write only two entries, and the ideas stopped coming as soon as the morphine stopped.

My attempt to continue the story today failed miserably, I think. Ha ha ha.

Btw (this has got nothing to do with drugs of any kind), I was at No Black Tie to see Shanon Shah last night. Shanon was brilliant, as usual. But there was this other dude called Reza Salleh. That was the first time I've heard of him and his music. He's superb!

previously on Am Scared...

..read yourself lah. ingat ni Desperate Housewives ke. hehehe.

Before everybody else start to worry, i just want to make a note that everything is fine.

I pray that the DLI will go fine too.

Am Scared

Got a call from the clinic today, for a DLI next week. DLI = Donor Leukocyte Infusion, where they inject my donor's white cells for relapse prevention. It's been planned since a couple of month ago.

Due to the fact that I received the call two days after my biopsy, i'm suddenly clouded with worry. It's a stern reminder that the game might not be over yet, and me living as if I am already a winner is certainly not helping.

No details yet. Will update.

Kit for the Broken-Hearted

I was talking to someone today about broken hearts, and I realized that the Broken-Hearted (BH) partake in some common activities. So, if we were to create a Kit for the Broken Hearted, I would put these 10 things in:

a) Membership for Kickboxing lessons
To release the pent up rage and anger. Who knows, the BH might even get a chance to accidentally kick a real person and pretend that the ex is getting whoop-assed.

b) A golf club
Also for anger therapy.

c) A digital camera
Preferably a digital SLR, because it does a better job at capturing moods. But a simple point-and-shoot would do too. This is for the BH to wander around aimlessly while not appearing too aimless. It also helps to take the mind off the ex in small pockets of time when the BH makes stops to compose shots.

d) A blog account
To vent, whine, bitch and what-not. Oh, and also to post photos taken with the digital camera above.

e) At least 1 pair of married friends
Preferably with a kid or two. This is somewhat a symbiotic relationship. It allows the parents to for once have an adult conversation with each other, while the BH, who probably can’t focus on serious conversations anyway, can entertain the child by playing video games, asking stupid childish questions and watching cartoons like Chicken Little, Spongebob, Shrek, etc.

f) At least 2 single friends
Whom the BH can call to hangout with without much notice. Preferably one hot dude, and one hot girl to increase the level of happening-ness when people see the three of you out together.

g) At least 1 online friend
Preferably someone that the BH doesn’t really know or meet often, for non-judgmental bitching sessions until the wee hours. Conversations usually go like this (assuming BH is a girl):
BH: Buzz!! Can't sleep...
OF: Hey! How are you feeling now?
BH: Angry. (or whatever BH feels at the moment, it may vary from hour to hour) btw, are you listening to HITZ.fm? "Cry me a river" is on. That is sooo totally my song. I've got the mp3, I'll transfer it over to you.
OF: You’ll get over this at some point you know. I’ve been through it before. Believe me.
BH: I know. But right now it just feels like i can't go on. Oh, "One Last Cry" is on air now. Man, Brian McKnight really speaks to me.
OF: You'll find someone who'll make you happy. You'll see. Btw, Negaraku is on air in RTM, is that your song too? <-- OF getting sarcastic after BH claims about 200 songs in a row as her song.
Bla bla bla on and on until one decides to go to bed.

h) Workload the size of Mount Everest with an almost impossible deadline
Definitely works in shifting the focus and energy. Don't be ashamed to go to your boss and ask for a shitload of work.

i) A Valid International Passport
To take unplanned holidays abroad to “run away from all this,” to "mend the heart," to “clear the mind,” and so on.

j) A relatively bottomless bank account
To fill the void by purchasing totally unnecessary items without having to worry about bursting the credit limit. Oh, and of course, to pay for the said unplanned holidays. Unless you break up just before the MATA Fair, in which case you should consider yourself luckier than the other BHs. Heh.

That’s about all I could think of. Did I leave anything else? OK, well, maybe just a teaspoonful of self-pity and a bucket of willpower to move on. But let's not get philosophical. Chewaah...hahaha.

post biopsy

gained consciousness around 3.30pm and realized i was sobbing. i had tears running from my eyes. did i cry during the biopsy? the last thing i remember was the doctor saying to me, "ok, now you sleep yea.." did i get nervous because it was the MO who did the procedure instead of the consultant? did it hurt? I can't remember a damn thing.

it doesn't hurt now. I'm still a bit woozy from the dormicum and pethadine, and I have a huge band-aid on my back.

dormicum is awesome. now, if only i could get my hands on a bagful of those during my difficult months late last year...it would be just purrfect (i believe this is the way hot girls spell perfect these days, no?).

miao.

part 3

Ok..The technician said he would come in a half hour, although, he said, they don't usually do biopsies after lunch. Right, so i have to be aware that HE's doing me a favour. I don't care who's fault it is anymore, as long as i get to get this done today.

Wish me luck and good results.

This is the end of my complain letter. Ciao.

previously on At the hospital...

...I was waiting for the technician.

It's 1.15pm and the technician is already out to lunch. So apparently i came to the wrong ward, and nobody here bothered to check. Everybody just sort of waited for the technician's arrival until my face started getting contorted from the anger.

We'll see what happens. I know some of my doctors read this, and i feel really sorry that this is the system you have to work with.

To be continued...

at the hospital

It's already 12.40pm. Still waiting for my bone marrow test since 9.30am. I'm getting angry at their disrespect of my time. I can understand waiting 1.5 hours, but 3? They've got to be effing kidding me. Times like these, i wish i had sought treatment elsewhere. The clinic nurse said "you must come as soon as u can because the technician usually arrives around 9am." well, it's 12.45pm, and where the frakk is the technician now?!

This is how i get from smiling me to sour me within the span of the morning. Simply show me that my time is being wasted.

It's 5 mins to lunchtime. Will the technician arrive? The saga continues...

Bone Marrow Test

Called the clinic around 4.30 today to check if the test is confirmed tomorrow. Was told that my name wasn't in the appointment book and could i please call back a bit later so they can check first. I got a bit busy on the phone and only realized that I forgot to call them back around 5.02PM. Unfortunately the operator said the connection didn't go through because the clinic was already closed. AAAArrghhhh!! I was kind of looking forward to the test tomorrow so I can take the rest of the day off later and just bum around the house while nursing my sore back from after the biopsy. Now I'll have to go to work while i wait to see if the test is on or not. bargh!

Given that this is not the first time this happened to me, I have no one else to blame but myself. Should have called much earlier to check so they can arrange for something when they realize that my name isn't in the book. I think they called me twice before to tell me that I have a 16th May bone marrow appointment, somehow my name never got into their order book or whatever they call it.....hmmm...want to get angry oso no point.

We'll see what happens in the morning. If it happens, well, again, wish me all the best.

Am reading Where Rainbows End - Cecilia Ahern now. Quite a page-turner, if you're into chick lits. I'm looking for a mystery novel to read. Any recommendations? Those Dan Brown types la...history + mystery/thriller sort. Please don't tell me to read The Rule of Four. I mis-judged the book by its cover, and the book SUCKS!

Ciao tutti.

sigh...

Am bored.

Got bone marrow test tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Lagi lagi cerita kerja

After almost two and a half months of mainly working and not much else, my project is finally over (for now), and I can stop worrying about it...other than the three things i have yet to finish by Monday. hehe.

Post-job review: I'm not made to chase people because I'd rather just get it done myself. Must find a better way to do people-chasing next time.

Have a good weekend! I'm certainly going to have a good one!

Ta.

Why do some girls wear such thick makeup?

I don't know. You tell me. Is the Russian Doll look the in thing right now? Foundation 10 shades lighter than the skin plus two round shades of Vermillion on the cheeks. Is that in?

What I don't understand is, in pictures, how can some claim themselves as "hot", "pretty", "sizzling", "babeZ" when they're so obviously not? Hello! Like, have you heard of a mirror?

Why am i ranting about this? Dunno? Err, should i go back to ranting about work?

Screaaaaaaammmm!!!

Needed a change of air and decided to go sebok2 at a gig at Hartamas last night. Not that many people, but the noise coming from the bands....goodness! Above is a picture of a band that basically screamed all the way and I had no idea what they were singing. The only sentence i got from the singer was, "our next song will be a cover from Iron Mydin". Rock kapak braderrr!!!!

Felt a bit old as me and Lan were talking to this kid, and suddenly the song "Come out and play" by Offspring came out. The kid said, "when i was in kindergarten, i heard this song and thought it was quite good." Jeez!

I think i'll go check out Rock Chic night next week. Bands with girl singers playing. If they start screaming, i'll leave. hehe.

Need blood? Sign here.

(note to adrie: it's not about work this time)
I'm too lazy to put a link because NST will archive it after some time. So go to NST and search for "blood transfusion consent" and you'll be able to open it if it's still there.

Anyway, so it looks like the government is now introducing a consent form for patients receiving blood. Before I actually read the article, I thought, what a bloody ridiculous thing to do! So you have a close to fainting patient with a 3.6 Hb count, needing four pints of blood, and you go, "by the way, we need you to sign this consent form because we will not be responsible if you contract AIDS or Hepatitis or any diseases from the blood you will be receiving." Now i'm scared, because i think i have received more than 25 pints of blood and god knows how many bags of platelets while i was under treatment. Erk!

Being a patient who was treated using the government's medical facilities, i think to get patients to sign such forms may just spoil its image (the government's image lah...not the patients'!). I have received excellent care from the doctors, who try to do their best despite the not so state-of-the-art facilities. My perceived lack of confidence for the government medical care significantly shifted while I was being treated. Some people asked me, "eh..why didn't you get your treatment done at so-and-so private hospital ah?" I answered, "why? the only difference is that there is no Astro and that the test results come back slightly late if it's not an emergency. otherwise the doctors are just as good." And I'm sure a lot of other people who've experienced the government's medical services will agree with me.

So, I think it's a waste of efforts when the nation is feeling quite good about the medical services, and they suddenly come up with a consent form that looks like they're trying to deny any responsibility for blood transfusion related diseases. You know why? Because people will think, "ahh it must be because of that lady who died because she got AIDS from her blood transfusion and they don't want to be responsible for occurences like that anymore."

However, after reading the article, I understand that the consent is just like the consent i had to sign prior to having my radiotherapy, where they explained to me the side effects of radiation. The form said that the risks have been explained to me, and that I understand them, and will not sue the government if anything happens to me. At which point I asked, "well, do i have a choice?" and the lady smiled to me, and i gave in and signed the document.

I guess the blood transfusion thing will be just like that. I still think that the government should at least take full responsibility for all diseases that are known at the time of the blood transfusion. I'll sign that. And rather than getting people worried about the risks, why not invest in better testing equipment and better education for the lab technicians? And if they still end up with one patient contracting a disease, settle. It's a small price to pay for the nation's confidence.

Ok la. membebel and starting to Talk Like Power, so i better stop. My final question is, if i'm in a situation where I require 4 pints of blood transfused, do i sign just one form, or 4 forms? Coz penat la weh nak kena sign 4 forms...dah la tengah tak cukup oxygen from low blood count. Then they'll need to have another consent form to say that the government is not liable for deaths occuring from signing blood transfusion consents. heh.

Ciao!

Ruffedge - Lemas

due to a serious lack of anything to write, i'm gonna do the cheapo and paste lyrics from Ruffedge's latest tracks, "Lemas". My initial reaction to the song was "ugh!" but after a few rounds the tune kind of got to me. Sedap sungguh lagu ini. heh.

lemas ku dalam dakapanmu
tidak ku sangka kau begitu
inikah lumrah orang bercinta
tiada ruang nafasnya

lemas ku dalam pelukanmu
tidak ku perlu kau begitu
inikah ertinya bercinta
berikan ruang agarku selesa

memang dia orangnya
mulanya memang sempurna
tiada yang buruk darinya
bahagia sentiasa dirasa ohh..
tapi kini dah berubah
yang indah jadi derita
aku resah gelisah
yang tinggal hanyalah sakit dan peritnya

kini aku mula sedari
apa yang telah terjadi
diriku dibebani bayanganmu
tapi itu semua dulu
memang ku tidak mahu teruskan
percintaan ini bersamamu...

Karma - Alicia Keyes

"...what goes around, comes around,
what goes up, must come down..."

(me moving to the beat..enjoying myself while relating to a not-so-recent experience)

krujaan

Man, as i was busy entertaining training requests, there comes the Empayar Krujaan Weekly Bulletin. eww! (Then again, i must've signed myself up at some point...hehe)

gong-ki

Addendum

I was such a (#3) today. <-- See post below.

11) OCDs
Obsessive Compulsive people who take a long time to finish a job. That's me today. The moment I created that Access DB, I knew i would miss breakfast, lunch, gossip breaks because I would pour all my energy into making that one bloody report look perfect. Get a life, me!

12) Mellons
Sometimes when you hire people into your company, you get Lemons, who look perfect on paper, but not worth a single dollar you're paying them. Well at my place, you get Mellons. A bunch of proud, smart-ass graduates from a certain university on the east coast of USA. And I'm one of 'em. Bwahaha!

Dah la tu. PS2 Golf jap. Boringnye, looks like my recent postings have been all about work. (Yea...I'm really into it now. Can't you tell? ha ha ha).

Annoyances from many, many floors above Ground

I was reading "Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit?" and got inspired. None in this list is intended to offend anyone. Well, ok, except for #1. muehehe.

1) Hummers
People who hum tunes in the office. Shut up already. I can't even make out what you're trying to sing. If i really wanted to hear music, I would've turned on my headphones. Your humming on top of my notebook fan roaring just don't jive.

2) Stressaholics
People who walk around looking as if the world is going to collapse around them. Right-o. Your job is so difficult and everyone is ganging up against you. Are you satisfied now?

3) Mis-emailers
People who send 1 thousand emails a day. Sometimes they send an email again and again because they a) forgot to attach the file, b) put the wrong meeting dates and venues, etc.

4) TLPs
Talk like power. Act like power. Joke like power. Congratulations - but we've heard enough already about how chummy you are with the boss. And yes, you also told us many times that you have too many projects to handle. Of course la, you kan are one of the few that the boss can trust. Awesome. You da' star, you the most terrer.

5) LLBs
Look like busy. Hmm actually they don't bother me. Unless they are LLBs who are also TLPs. Which is worse than just being a TLP. hehe.

6) Watersplashers
People who splash water in the restroom area and don't clean up after. Ingat ni Sunway Lagoon ke? Lap lah balik!

7) Phonemenons
People who just love to talk into their speaker phones unnecessarily, and loudly. There's a perfect reason why the telephone has a handle. Which is to prevent from annoying people around you. Unless you're in a conference call, use the handle.

8) Complain Junkies
Yap yap yap yap about how other people are not doing work except for themselves. Hehe..this I used to be. Still am, on my bad days. bwahaha! Yup. I annoy myself sometimes.

9) Resource-Kiasus
Why book the projector/meeting room when it's just needed for backup purposes? At least, why won't you just release the said projector/meeting room the moment you realize that you wouldn't be needing it after all? Why do you have to be so kiasu?

10) Spammers
People who email like 10 jokes in a row. People who forward unconfirmed consumer related rumors. People who select all their contacts in their YM contact list and send messages like "Yahoo Messenger is going to start charging users for using the client software. Send this message to all your friends to avoid from being charged. If you don't send this message to all your friends, you will face bad luck and become financially unstable." Do you actually believe that crap? Tell you what, get up, walk over to your boss, and ask for some work to do.

That said, I don't claim to be perfect. I am at least #3, #5 and #8. What numbers are you?

Mengisi masa lapang

my latest favorite. Zoo Tycoon 2.

Another tag

Tags are fun. But i've been busy, which is why i haven't been visiting my friends' blogs for a while. Despite the Big Boss' advice, I think got carried away with work for the past month and a half. It will continue to be like that for the next month and a half. Some people look down on what I'm doing. Some say what I do sounds clerical. Well, I say, whaatevaa..at the end of the day, which will be soon, I will get to see the results of what I'm doing, while they still struggle with theirs. Some say the job is perhaps not challenging enough for me. I'll take that as a compliment, thank you. The half-wits who think that my work is beneath them wouldn't even know where to start if they were asked to do it. Heck, I didn't know where to begin either 2 months ago, but now I do, and the half-wits will never be able to take that away from me.

I know, I know, I shouldn't listen to what people say. We are all human beings, and we are different when it comes to our senses of satisfaction. While some of us feel satisfied doing whatever it takes to achieve our targets, some others will feel good when they spend long hours in the office, reminding themselves that they have so much on their plates, hence they are important. I'm not being sarcastic, hehe. It's true! I read it in The Mind Gym the other day.

Oh. Where was I? hehe. Ok so I've been tagged by Adrie, this time regarding old skool matters:

How many schools did you go to?
Two. One in Primary, and one in Secondary.
Primary in PJ, and Secondary in Seremban.
OK three. Pre-U in the states.

Was I the studious nerd or the last minute hero?
Studious nerd for subjects I liked. Last minute hero for subjects that I hated. Takde la hero sangat pun. I never scored the subjects I hated. Which were many.

Was I the taiko or the teachers' pet?
I believe i was a little bit of both. I guess I wasn't as much of a taiko as that fella in my class who pulled the pants off an albino kid in front of the class. heheh. (OK it was funny at that time.)

Best 3 subjects...
Chemistry
Additional Math
Modern Math

3 teachers that I remember most (for various reasons)...
Pn F & Pn B. We used to call them Fat and Bad. Famous for their temper and curse words in class. Ever heard of a teacher saying "p***m*k" in a class of 10 and 11-year olds? Luckily most of us turned out quite well today.

Miss V
The teacher who constantly accused me of sleeping in class, even when I was only looking down into my book to check on something.

That's it!

Who now, do I tag? ahh ok..
- Dino
- Wegra
- Mac
- Elly

Ok dah. I'm off to watch Prison Break's latest episode. This may sound a bit teeny bopper-ish, but I have to say that Wentworth Miller is one sexy man. heh.

Au revoir!

ada apa dengan "thats mean"

Do you have people regularly saying funny phrases in the office?

Here's my Top list, in no particular order:

• that's mean (what? what's mean?)
• it's means
• the thing is that is
• you know...you know...(no, i don't know!)
• hello...! (in the Clueless Alicia Silverstone intonation. gets annoying if every other sentence begins with a 'hello...!')
• kinds of things
• by rights

Alaa...bila dengar orang cakap banyak je idea. Now i can only come up with seven.

Aight...I'm off. And my blogger is acting up on me. Dunno why. It keeps asking me to save a file when i try to access my page.

Kisah leukemia

almost terforgot.

Had my monthly checkup last week. My white blood count was lower than normal. When the doc asked if i'm having a fever, cold or cough...i said no, so she ordered a full blood picture so she can further investigate. Went home, and later that night, i caught myself a slight fever. Yup i'm starting to believe that it's all in the mind. So the low white blood count was justified. hehehe. Anyway, the doc said she'd call me if there was a problem. I haven't heard from her in a week. No news is good news, usually, in the case of government hospitals. :-)

My abnormally high levels of liver enzymes have also dropped, which strengthened their suspicion that my ciclosporin intake was causing the rise.

Bro went to donate his lymphocytes (white blood) that day. Ugh..poor dude had to sit next to the aphresis machine while the nurse poked him about 4-5 times to find a good vein. He has small veins like me, so the nurse couldn't get the blood to flow fast enough. Tak cukup dengan itu, in the little curtained section of the clinic, there were 4 additional nurses watching. If it was me, i would have felt rimas already. Perhaps they should add a viewing room in the future, for the sake of the patient's or donor's comfort. :-)

itu saje...bye!

Happy Birthday!

April 10th is one day of the year with the most people that I know celebrating their birthdays.

Happy Birthday, all of you!

Live long and prosper.

magnificent sunset

A magnificent sunset, something we don't see everyday. view from Petronas Towers. Now, the jam on the roads down below, that's something we see everyday. hehe.

reese's peanut butter cup

coklat kegemaranku! i think i haven't had this in more than 5 years!

stress to destress

Three months ago i signed up at yogazone. Got two free trials which i went to. Haven't been since i started paying for it. Hehe.

So today i decided to go. Booked the Yin session, which they promoted as an effective session to destress yourself.

Yeah, right.

In order to make it to the session on time, i stressed to finish my work today. Come 6.15pm, i hurriedly packed to leave. Made two trips to the parking autopay machine, with a trip to the parking management office in between to sort out my season pass that suddenly didn't work. Of course, as i came out onto the road, there was a traffic jam, as always the case when we're rushing somewhere.

Anyway, with my heavy car steering and excellent manouvering skills, i managed to get to the place on time. Aah, finally, you think...

Not!

At the reception, the receptionist told me that she can't find my name in the reservation book. Jeez! So she told me to just go change, and she would let me in if there are any last minute cancellations. I did, and waited. I finally got in.

Sure enough, the session was relaxing. Was it worth it, you ask? Well, for the hurdles i had to jump today to get there, i'd have to say it wasn't worth a single drop of my sweat.

Ok. Am gonna stop complaining and start enjoying my own company, with absolutely nowhere to rush to. Au revoir!

oh dear

I'm in KL, supposed to be watching a live band perform.

I'm here instead, judging people.

I'm so keji.

Although to be fair to myself, some of them are just asking for it. How can they let pondan-siams into the ladies' room? Btw, if chicks get in for free, do pondan siams get in free as well? Are they considered chicks too? Hehe

I'm so keji, nevertheless.

Argh!

I was having a top day until 10 minutes ago. Now everything is ruined.

Too much laughing, now I'm crying. In front of the computer screen. Padan muka aku.

Because my finger so itchy I went and clicked on Mr Happy to be Unhappy's link of the shanghai girl abusing a kitten. Nope, I'm not going to link you to Mr H2bU's page because then you'll go and click on the link to watch the video. Nobody needs to be traumatized like that.

Damnit, now I can't get the image out of my mind. Of her heels digging into the kitten's throat. That asshole should be punished. Facing difficulties in life doesn't give you the right to abuse innocent animals. That poor kitten never did anything to her.

Damnit! damnit! damnit! *knocking my head on the desk to get that image out*

Hope your day ends better than mine.

Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine.

Especially when it's at the expense of other people.

Muahaahahaaa!

M the Opera

My friend from company K got free musical tickets again, and invited me. This time for M the Opera. So, in my attempt to become a more cultured person, I accepted the invite.

It started off well. I got an excellent seat right smack in the middle of the hall. Very impressed.

20 minutes into the show, I turned to Friend and whispered, "what the hell is going on?" Friend whispered back, "gosh, I don't know." So we continued watching grown men and women in fancy clothes prancing around the stage. It felt similar to watching that weird freak musical at Sun City in South Africa in 2003. Can't remember now what it's called, but at least that freak musical had topless women in it (not that it matters to me, haha).

I would tell you what the musical was all about, but i just didn't get it. It was about a fashion designer, that is as much as I could tell you. It wasn't clear to me what the issues were, and how the characters felt about them. My high-school English Dramas had way more solid storylines compared to this. Well, maybe it's just me not being artsy fartsy enough.

Anyway, we couldn't bear having to sit through the second act, so we left during the intermission. Need I say more?

Next up: P Ramlee the Musical.

A few minutes later...

Lan, as always, offering his creative opinions.

*Yahoo IDs masked for privacy purposes.

Wings??? right....

Jalan Ampang Beggar

As I was waiting for the traffic light at the intersection of Jalan Ampang and Sultan Ismail today, a panicky looking dude tapped on my car window. I rolled down the window about 10cm wide, thinking he wanted to ask for directions. Instead...he asked me for money. RM50.

Mr : Miss, my car broke down in front, and i forgot my wallet. Can you spare me RM50?
Me : What for?
Mr : So I can take a taxi.
Me : Sorry Encik, I don't have RM50. (where on earth is he going with RM50 cab fare? Genting?)
Mr : How about RM20? I'll push the money back to you, I promise.
Me : Sorry Encik, RM20 pun I tak ada.
Mr : How much have you got? Any amount will do.
Me : Huh? I said I don't have any money, I'm sorry. (I have RM350 in my wallet, but I sure ain't giving it to you after that question, buddy.)
Mr : (looking very disappointed) Oh...ok thanks.

I drove off feeling bad about myself. What if the dude really needed the money? I could've at least given him RM2 for a bus ride. I drove along Sultan Ismail, keeping an eye for a stalled car, but the road came to an end and I didn't see any.

Told my friends about what happened, and one said that he's already been harassed like that twice. His description of the man was quite similar to mine. Jeez!

Thank God the traffic wasn't too bad, and I only felt bad for about 20 minutes. Thank God I didn't give the man a single cent. Thank God that friend was around to lift my guilt off.

The man asking for money is malay, mid-40s, skinny, greying hair, weird teeth. He's got a slight east coast accent to his English. Man, what is this city coming to?

Aaaaahhh

Apollo Bay, Australia

I was reading a book that asked the reader to think about their holiday, and this picture came to my mind.

Maybe next I should go cruise on the French Riviera.

That should be nice, eh?